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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (5066)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (3072)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

PoptartsKid's comment : Damn, I'm gonna miss her, she was a great woman.

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Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28752) - you deserved it (14841)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (3520)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

alshygirl's comment : I will never understand the level of stupidity that some have

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Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40937) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37392) - you deserved it (17559)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (3345)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

iOceanus's comment : You're qualified for the job, so we can't hire you. The logic. -.-

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Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42244) - you deserved it (3373)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45135) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38434) - you deserved it (5117)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (4053)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39482) - you deserved it (4837)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39594) - you deserved it (11933)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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