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Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

#21425869
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23099) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by queenbee - United States (Pennsylvania)

pratikp03's comment : rob him back

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Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

#21425804
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (2655)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

sstahpp's comment : It's your house. You don't need an invitation.

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Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (6217)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

#21425623
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (3375)

On 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm - animals - by patient_mom - Australia (Victoria)

rnarshmallow's comment : A clean python is a happy python! It's good to see your daughter has taught her pet about hygiene.

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Today, I turned on an old radio I haven't used for a long time and a pack of very small spiders came rushing out of the speakers when I turned up the volume. Guess they didn't like the groove. FML

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

#21425446
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by pantsareathing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (1963)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

#21425418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (2433)

On 06/13/2015 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36920) - you deserved it (4155)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

#21425373
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/13/2015 at 8:42am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

#21425364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (1758)

On 06/13/2015 at 7:45am - work - by notfuckingpaidenough - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML

#21425208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (7788)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by alyssaamarante - United States (New York)

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML

#21425191
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (11154)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:06pm - work - by nancypants1124 - United States



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