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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (2334)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

#21439620
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (2632)

On 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Cads1's comment : Wow, crazy much?

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Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

#21439587
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (2896)

On 07/10/2015 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Cads1's comment : An evil genius at work.

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Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

#21439553
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (1450)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

piemanfood's comment : Just explain the situation to her. I'm sure she'll understand

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Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2788)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (2215)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

#21439528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49am - misc - by Stevarious (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

#21439345
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (14344)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:27am - kids - by clutzymama (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML

#21439169
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (2204)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by princessrose - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

#21439124
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27034) - you deserved it (1516)

On 07/09/2015 at 5:12pm - health - by gerbilmaster (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24712) - you deserved it (4662)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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