Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went in to work to check my new schedule for the week. I searched up and down and didn't see my name listed. After talking to my manager, he decided it would be easier to "release" me than remake a new schedule. FML

by moshgra / 11/28/2010 at 7:41pm / Work

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 6:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 6:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

by brelni / 11/28/2010 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 5:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

by apavies444 / 11/28/2010 at 2:10am / United States / Intimacy

timtuttlez's comment : and then her dad said "sure am cupcake ;)"

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Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 12:05am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Transportation

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

by fulloshit / 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health