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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

#12316172
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Amandajean32 - United States

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

#12314301
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (4866)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm - misc - by drfeelgood93 - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

#12313320
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (9228)

On 08/04/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

#12312457
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (4521)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42567) - you deserved it (10959)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44525) - you deserved it (7710)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

#12304644
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (8621)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:28am - work - by Ploeboi (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

#12304319
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (4023)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44099) - you deserved it (3720)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54647) - you deserved it (8786)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (3890)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7275) - you deserved it (53212)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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