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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

#6779433
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (2252)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42075) - you deserved it (3331)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

#6776898
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/16/2009 at 10:43am - love - by eww657 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

#6775811
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9955) - you deserved it (27312)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by ohhi_itsme123 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34352) - you deserved it (3423)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, since I had no lessons until 1pm, I decided to head out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML

#6775023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8947) - you deserved it (31226)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:37am - misc - by watchmaker (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9884) - you deserved it (23335)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57536) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (3855)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

#6773242
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (4220)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2974)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (2097)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

#6770582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (11112)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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