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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

#5412403
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9810) - you deserved it (47581)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the dentist. I parked my car in what I thought was the dentist's car park. It was actually the car park for the business next door. I had to watch them clamp my car from the dentist's chair. FML

#5411274
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (6160)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by ohdamn (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

#5410681
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (4978)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

#5410581
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52523) - you deserved it (6113)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

#5410009
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8555) - you deserved it (42592)

On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

#5409336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35202) - you deserved it (6838)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (2980)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13668) - you deserved it (47227)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38073) - you deserved it (15348)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

allmidnighteyes's comment : Okay, you're divorced now. Okay, you're paying alimony now. Okay, you're a cougar now. Okay, you're dead now. Okay, you're a zombie now.

See all the comments →

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

#5406145
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36077) - you deserved it (14879)

On 09/21/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by zzyx (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (12589)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (37567)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)



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