Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

by Username / 11/23/2010 at 8:40pm / United States / Health

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

by Username / 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm / Work

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

by horn-y / 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

by fired / 11/23/2010 at 8:41am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I discovered she had been cheating on me. Her defense was, "It wouldn't be a problem if you were just OK with this." FML

by anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 4:32am / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

by Username / 11/23/2010 at 1:50am / Intimacy

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

by ohsosad / 11/23/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

by smallfrie32 / 11/23/2010 at 12:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my mother-in-law's house to have dinner. I was excited she invited me, since I thought she didn't like me. I ended up hanging her Christmas lights in a snowstorm while they had s'mores by the fire. FML

by heronlydaughter / 11/22/2010 at 10:58pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous