Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56279) - you deserved it (16194)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you deserved it (36636)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (4832)
On 02/15/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by miapapaya (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (5089)
On 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by efffmylife - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (3984)
On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8038) - you deserved it (40240)
On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5417) - you deserved it (52175)
On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I accompanied some friends to sign up for a gym. When we got there, the guy handed me a form, too. I said, "Oh, I'm not signing up." He replied, "Out of all of you, you need it the most." He then said he was also a nutritionist, and offered a consultation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (8088)
On 02/15/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by charpanda007 (man) - Hong Kong
Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48410) - you deserved it (2939)
On 02/15/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by andjusticeforall (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34916) - you deserved it (1417)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (4392)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)
Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11621) - you deserved it (65027)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (1917)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:32am - misc - by lamesauce (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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