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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (2753)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

#5605398
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (3192)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

#5604597
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11744) - you deserved it (35774)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37122) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41179) - you deserved it (2731)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6138) - you deserved it (32636)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (3325)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33164) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (10139)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as 'some weirdo had walked into her house.' I am that weirdo, she wasn't joking. FML

#5600250
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31600) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:46am - misc - by forgotten (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

#5599183
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

#5598991
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (10416)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

#5598199
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (5610)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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