Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

#12714961
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (10754)

On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

#12714579
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (4733)

On 08/24/2010 at 1:52am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

#12712941
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (50219)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12327) - you deserved it (27335)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

#12706855
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (51985)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by Ahook1 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (2976)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

#12706497
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (4534)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by DormHater (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (10080)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

#12698820
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (6691)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

#12695884
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40940) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/23/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (22431)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

#12693453
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (73336)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

booroxx's comment : I hate teachers like you :/

See all the comments →



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: