Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

by helen / 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm / Work

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

by richkief76 / 05/09/2011 at 10:34pm / Kids

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

by loser / 05/09/2011 at 5:12pm / United States (New York) / Money

ZingDooper's comment : why would you want to keep it?

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Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML

by starcatch777 / 05/09/2011 at 4:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

by 19apollo91 / 05/09/2011 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

by Username / 05/09/2011 at 1:23pm / China / Health

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

by wtfseriously / 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

GrooveSponge's comment : I'm assuming you didn't win the argument.

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Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML

by moron / 05/09/2011 at 1:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

by Nelson / 05/09/2011 at 11:05am / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

by scarlet / 05/09/2011 at 11:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

by Username / 05/09/2011 at 3:38am / Transportation

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

by theyarefarapart / 05/09/2011 at 3:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy

Fish_999's comment : haha u enjoyed it really!

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