Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her. FML

#12748715
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (8797)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:11am - love - by tj - United States

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (5647)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28913) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (67736)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

evilplatypus's comment : then fess up to your bosses that it's your fault, ass-wipe

See all the comments →

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (8769)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to wax my own eyebrows with a Do It Yourself kit from the pharmacy. I'm now missing half of my right eyebrow. FML

#12736614
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10687) - you deserved it (40479)

On 08/25/2010 at 9:10am - misc - by Eyebrowsgone - United States (California)

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

#12731475
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (9399)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (4897)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15547) - you deserved it (27095)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

#12725803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (8180)

On 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm - love - by DyingOfShame (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

#12724664
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12799) - you deserved it (34348)

On 08/24/2010 at 6:36pm - love - by iammike (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (5123)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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