Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (4412)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (9531)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (5720)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

#13372980
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11473) - you deserved it (31739)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by theleague (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

#13372887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24369) - you deserved it (6776)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Rob - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26200) - you deserved it (4961)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

#13372336
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (5579)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by mster233 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML

#13372101
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10942) - you deserved it (28783)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by ~Mr.Void - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

#13370943
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (5782)

On 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (39155)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (6419)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

#13365724
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46662) - you deserved it (6619)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by ringhider (man) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (5772)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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