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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (7180)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (2918)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (3284)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11191) - you deserved it (41097)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

#8510953
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (5222)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:36am - misc - by sasquatch21 (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML

#8510516
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (3935)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

#8509924
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4906) - you deserved it (42633)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (7036)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

#8508631
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (33703)

On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (4556)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (3567)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4569) - you deserved it (57015)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)



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