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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

#5682176
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32121) - you deserved it (7000)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (8575)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a ticket for having my brights on. The street was pitch black and it was 1:30 in the morning. FML

#5681167
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (6076)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:44am - misc - by ticket - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

#5680607
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13897) - you deserved it (61069)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

#5680173
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

#5679809
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (42519)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:01am - health - by ticked (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

#5679558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (3897)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:08am - kids - by laurwitharawr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (8839)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9538) - you deserved it (32249)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56713) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35612) - you deserved it (3232)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I received an email from my professor informing me that if I missed another class, I'd be dropped from the course. I have field experience to complete tomorrow as part of my major. I emailed her two weeks ago to let her know, and we're excused by the dean. She doesn't care. FML

#5675714
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32122) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by meesh22 (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

#5675476
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (1777)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:06am - work - by perpetuallyscrewed (man) -



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