Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (2246)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called out "personal" from work because I had to study for a major test that is taking place tomorrow. An hour later my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously", then I got an email that the test is being postponed. FML

#9081511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (3737)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:13pm - work - by Laurendorcus - Sent from mobile version

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

#9077477
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19176) - you deserved it (7646)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

#9077392
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

#9077229
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2303)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:14pm - kids - by mommy - United States

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

#9074868
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10019) - you deserved it (22550)

On 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by teachingsucks (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

#9070657
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11535) - you deserved it (36075)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:56am - love - by allennn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (10916)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

#9069582
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16411) - you deserved it (30475)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (4303)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12133) - you deserved it (21548)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (12642)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (22191)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



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