Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that the acne under my arms was worse then the severe acne on my face. FML

#8557720
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (3238)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:43pm - health - by baconrash - United States (New York)

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (6026)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

#8557043
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2742)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm - misc - by condiments - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13769) - you deserved it (21871)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (2250)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

#8553099
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30714) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

#8550673
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6788) - you deserved it (34458)

On 02/22/2010 at 10:35am - health - by AngelAshley (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

#8548832
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (1789)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (2774)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

#8547021
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (1708)

On 02/22/2010 at 5:13am - misc - by OMFG (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

#8544581
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9207) - you deserved it (22593)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by depressed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

zebra_pillow's comment : why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape

See all the comments →



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: