Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
by TheNerd / 05/11/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (California) / Love
PSQ91's comment : You just fell for her.
Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML
by pigeons_suck / 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by jamalinho / 05/11/2011 at 1:51pm / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
kamikrazy's comment : Who doesn't love tic-tacs?
Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML
by NotChadKrouger / 05/11/2011 at 11:19am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
enonymous's comment : GET IN MAH BELLY!
Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:10am / Australia / Health
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…