Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48548) - you deserved it (11339)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91687) - you deserved it (8153)
On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (182326) - you deserved it (8541)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (49007)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53909) - you deserved it (4771)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (9117)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by fannylovesfelix (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (3324)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)
Today, our school went to an elementary school to read to the kids. One of the girls in my group asked me if she could switch into another group, so I asked her what was wrong with mine. She said, "Nothing, I wanna be in her group. She's prettier." I was insulted by a kindergartner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41669) - you deserved it (2741)
On 03/10/2009 at 6:51pm - misc - by thanksjill (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71593) - you deserved it (5043)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11679) - you deserved it (55237)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62923) - you deserved it (19442)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (24075)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48662) - you deserved it (9941)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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