Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26155) - you deserved it (3409)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38339) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10274) - you deserved it (47379)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

#13406898
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32232) - you deserved it (6081)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (9507)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

#13403572
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (5859)

On 10/11/2010 at 5:07am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML

#13403115
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (3849)

On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

#13402192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (8645)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:00am - health - by cdubb27 - United States (California)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9908) - you deserved it (40577)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (4941)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

#13398040
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40764) - you deserved it (4101)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by jailbirdlove - United States (Kentucky)

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (28686)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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