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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (2671)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's sex." FML

#8954955
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (7577)

On 03/09/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by littlemissgullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (3209)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

#8948119
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46263) - you deserved it (2439)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by dargas - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (2272)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

#8945692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7364) - you deserved it (60518)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

#8944596
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28270) - you deserved it (8982)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm - kids - by lockedoutbabysitter (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (5658)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

#8941097
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (35611)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:14am - health - by oww - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

#8941077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (3966)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by 3-wheeler (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (2385)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

#8939744
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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