Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

#13372336
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (5579)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by mster233 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML

#13372101
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10945) - you deserved it (28784)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by ~Mr.Void - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

#13370943
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (5782)

On 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13515) - you deserved it (39155)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (6419)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

#13365724
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46662) - you deserved it (6619)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by ringhider (man) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (5771)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26008) - you deserved it (8351)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (6538)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (10096)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML

#13363376
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36075) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:31am - health - by lmastr64 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49824) - you deserved it (5292)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML

#13360186
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (5171)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:58pm - money - by udnrizh - United States (Indiana)



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