Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

#5923458
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (10215)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:07am - love - by wtfrelationship (man) - Singapore

Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML

#5923443
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (1653)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Timebaseboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19343) - you deserved it (3232)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

#5921737
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (3721)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by badnewsbears (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

#5921538
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (52737)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

#5919547
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37717) - you deserved it (22502)

On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

#5916110
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11276) - you deserved it (31319)

On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

#5914745
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12355) - you deserved it (73814)

On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)

KaylaKiwified's comment : I'm going to say you're incredibly stupid here, and YDI. And HDI, too. He should've remembered something like that, and maybe put it in something you aren't allergic to, like roses, or something. And why didn't you just throw it in the trash? Do you always throw things down the garbage disposal first?

See all the comments →

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (2291)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (4057)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML

#5913009
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10216) - you deserved it (36383)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (4183)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6885) - you deserved it (148735)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)



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