Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72367) - you deserved it (24228)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (18185)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (32506)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56345) - you deserved it (15766)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52505) - you deserved it (10012)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72881) - you deserved it (3616)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36574) - you deserved it (15275)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (9590)
On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43841) - you deserved it (8379)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55310) - you deserved it (15606)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States
Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51829) - you deserved it (3589)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50984) - you deserved it (8327)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50835) - you deserved it (1916)
On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)
Friday 24 May 2013
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