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Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

#6989281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (11625)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:35am - work - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9177) - you deserved it (33414)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (3015)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (10894)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33952) - you deserved it (3047)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you deserved it (5378)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (4359)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (9349)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (5804)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (9056)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (3544)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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