Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63173) - you deserved it (3773)
On 03/06/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Kathrynn (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10753) - you deserved it (29179)
On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54193) - you deserved it (3047)
On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (39223)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121591) - you deserved it (3829)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45125) - you deserved it (2440)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to use a public bathroom with my friend. I heard someone, who I thought was my friend talking, and I replied with "I hate being on my rag, I get constipated a lot." When I opened the stall door, I saw two guys using the urinals. I went into the men's restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (35691)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by MNLucyy - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53719) - you deserved it (2607)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (6811)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by sasd32 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54432) - you deserved it (4595)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353229) - you deserved it (66642)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (30977)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11475) - you deserved it (36154)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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↑ finitely's comment : 13?.... damn....
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