Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

by sosad / 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm / Love

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

by blahhlovely_30 / 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

by anonymouse / 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

by prdept. / 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Intimacy

RecklessJellyBea's comment : Sex in a house with his brother and parents present? Oh, you silly teens... When will you guys learn.

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Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 11:07am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

by Waffle / 03/09/2011 at 10:47am / Kids

Zodaicz's comment : Damn...poor kid...

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Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

by Username / 03/09/2011 at 5:04am / Love

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

by life_isnt_fair / 03/09/2011 at 3:27am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

by Cashier / 03/09/2011 at 12:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I accidentally forgot my glasses in a store bathroom. When I finally noticed, I went back to find that someone was wearing them as he was walking out of the store. I didn't have the balls to call him out on it. FML

by Trippy Penguin / 03/08/2011 at 9:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Geek