Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2852)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

#13269256
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (4251)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm - love - by dontask (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (3672)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

#13263221
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:14pm - love - by no luck - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

#13263199
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (3535)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

#13262261
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31904) - you deserved it (3806)

On 09/30/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Ugh-Lee - United States

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

#13261887
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8578) - you deserved it (33748)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:07am - work - by T. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49009) - you deserved it (5258)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite rock songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

#13260803
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (33479)

On 09/30/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by PhilDavisDied? - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

#13260698
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12158) - you deserved it (35665)

On 09/30/2010 at 5:56am - intimacy - by ohyaknow (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, and every day, a homeless looking man walks into my work, sits down and stares. I'm new to the job so, trying to make new friends, when the guy walked in this time, I went over to a co worker I was really clicking with, and went off about how creepy he was. He replied with "Who, my dad?" FML

#13260317
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10807) - you deserved it (31283)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:19am - work - by simply2010 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML

#13260276
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (3045)

On 09/30/2010 at 4:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (2745)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States



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