Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43624) - you deserved it (5863)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:47am - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (64984)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115540) - you deserved it (4222)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47517) - you deserved it (3043)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (46586)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16664) - you deserved it (57552)
On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48010) - you deserved it (7166)
On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111667) - you deserved it (7036)
On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and i told the waiter I'll have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, " Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51687) - you deserved it (6340)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (14801)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83415) - you deserved it (15548)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11205) - you deserved it (54714)
On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16443) - you deserved it (29614)
On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Friday 24 May 2013
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