Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53719) - you deserved it (2607)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (6811)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by sasd32 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54433) - you deserved it (4595)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353283) - you deserved it (66643)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (30977)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11474) - you deserved it (36154)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (50740)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12010) - you deserved it (56116)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97678) - you deserved it (3861)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53408) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (5541)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19305) - you deserved it (42279)
On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (8558)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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