Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11666) - you deserved it (45064)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (3776)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24654) - you deserved it (3344)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

#13459715
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (4609)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

#13458885
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11731) - you deserved it (32156)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Nepal

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

#13458555
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (4213)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

#13457559
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (3932)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

#13457118
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/15/2010 at 9:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (2816)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (9311)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

#13455884
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (2542)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:05am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (3516)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

#13454741
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (4493)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)



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