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Man or woman?

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (4975)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6844) - you deserved it (30474)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

#13431152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (38526)

On 10/13/2010 at 5:02am - love - by your mother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (19422)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

kportal69's comment : what like he grabs on to your love handles during sex? why do you think they're called love handles?? am I stupid or are you?? just trying to figure that one out.

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Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

#13430333
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (2909)

On 10/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by failure (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

#13429842
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (5265)

On 10/13/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by grow_fasterrr - (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (3726)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6853) - you deserved it (63861)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15685) - you deserved it (35784)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (4027)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

#13420604
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35026) - you deserved it (6508)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by lovelesslonely (woman) - United States (Alabama)

sublime420's comment : I'm sorry, but "finally propose" and "1 year relationship"?

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Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (42714)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49677) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States



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