by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 10:00am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
dkf295's comment : Should have told him that your head was full of unstable explosives and that by punching you he'd set them off killing you both.
by FeedMe / 05/27/2011 at 6:45am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML
by colebear / 05/27/2011 at 4:45am / United States / Work
Frelling's comment : I read that as hand job application.
by Derp-A-Herp / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Love
kidclarke's comment : I'm surprised you didn't say Disneyland.
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by moe / 05/27/2011 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Username / 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML
by StatusSearch / 05/26/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by taydean / 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML
by kernewek / 05/26/2011 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Work
by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…