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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (4783)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (29291)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16985) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

#7336532
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:45am - kids - by hair2daygone4ever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5138) - you deserved it (39913)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

#7336128
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (2113)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (6425)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46088) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
79 comments

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#7333301
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11301) - you deserved it (22165)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:59am - work - by OverweightTeen (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28515) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

#7332045
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (57095)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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