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Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

#4501015
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (6775)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Jamie (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML

#4500553
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35979) - you deserved it (4581)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm - animals - by animalover - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you deserved it (53271)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64086) - you deserved it (7209)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

Today, when walking to my car I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

#4498391
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43141) - you deserved it (2089)

On 08/13/2009 at 10:00am - money - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

#4497607
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7530) - you deserved it (43426)

On 08/13/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by Distracted (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (59198)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (48512)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML

#4494514
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35671) - you deserved it (1995)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML

#4492713
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (5824)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:23am - love - by MexyBoy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML

#4491139
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (3932)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:32am - kids - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94210) - you deserved it (4543)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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