Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (9457)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

#7667037
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (4202)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:43am - love - by pugs - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10533) - you deserved it (52131)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

#7663968
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (2814)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:49am - health - by mirrorfad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6313) - you deserved it (27068)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my fiancé told me he didn't have the money to make payments on my engagement ring and that I either have to return it, or make the payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and are "dating." FML

#7657890
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (4026)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:32pm - love - by oregongrl1991 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4688) - you deserved it (48004)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8805) - you deserved it (49168)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

#7644201
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11001) - you deserved it (33155)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: