Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15805) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

#8382475
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (9210)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by missunlucky (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

#8376672
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (33909)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

#8375974
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26223) - you deserved it (4316)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by ceilingssuck (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

#8375292
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (2327)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:49pm - love - by tj85 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (10541)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30474) - you deserved it (5145)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (2407)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (7363)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

#8366302
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (2448)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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