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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

#13394916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (6090)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:45pm - misc - by lolu - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (8831)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (26194)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (5478)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (25695)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (3350)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26280) - you deserved it (7340)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

#13386439
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (13179)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:29am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (27275)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

#13383180
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9823) - you deserved it (31774)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:51pm - work - by fistpumpin4life - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (10501)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

#13382231
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (8842)

On 10/09/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda (Saint John)



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