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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (2652)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

#6477296
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (5488)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7109) - you deserved it (53509)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

#6476198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5417) - you deserved it (45254)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12083) - you deserved it (25143)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (6702)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received the sweetest love letter from my boyfriend after having a bad day. After gushing about it and reading it to my friends, they said it reminded them of a letter that they'd seen online. He got it from a fill-in-the-blank love letter generator. FML

#6474495
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (4833)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:09am - love - by Duped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (3622)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (80380)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

staymonkey's comment : thats pretty pathetic.

See all the comments →

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (7851)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35680) - you deserved it (4378)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie where a girl proposed to a guy. He said "I would hate it if that happened to me, obviously I don't want to get married if I haven't proposed myself." I was planning on proposing later. FML

#6470201
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (7673)

On 11/26/2009 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

#6468992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25764) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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