Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML
by Derps / 05/04/2011 at 5:11am / Denmark (Midtjyllen) / Miscellaneous
illmatic2's comment : She deserves a high-five.
Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML
by kayt240 / 05/04/2011 at 1:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Violent_Kitkat's comment : Well this shows how commited you are to your relationship...
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
by Cuppycake / 05/04/2011 at 1:33am / Canada / Health
TookaWooka666's comment : Nice, not only was the joke bad to begin with but then you find out he is a diabetic, you kind of deserved that one.
by Username / 05/03/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML
by LightsOut / 05/03/2011 at 1:58pm / United States / Work
by moetplease / 05/03/2011 at 12:32pm / Singapore / Love
by CRH / 05/03/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation
Today, while on a first date with a guy who turned out to be twice my age, we were playing video games at the theatre before the movie started. Suddenly he falls face first while having a seizure. The EMT asked if my "dad" had a history of epilepsy. FML
Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2011 at 4:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…