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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (5042)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

#8979705
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (2078)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9278) - you deserved it (61789)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

ydi_ruuc's comment : you expect to much...

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Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

#8973652
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4820) - you deserved it (54659)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (3604)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (2456)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

#8971498
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41466) - you deserved it (4175)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (8447)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

#8970857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (5329)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (4004)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

#8969513
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36318) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9430) - you deserved it (25223)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

#8968601
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (3749)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:54am - love - by NotTilly (woman) - United States (Texas)



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