Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44986) - you deserved it (4331)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (66101)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14915) - you deserved it (39075)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33278) - you deserved it (6350)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (30751)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

#13586647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (32181)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

#13585816
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (6844)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

#13584749
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (5069)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by not_relaxed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

#13582834
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (7445)

On 10/24/2010 at 10:16pm - money - by krissysays (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

#13581195
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (5782)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (3300)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)



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