Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

#6313521
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27180) - you deserved it (1664)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (37993)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10978) - you deserved it (19988)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML

#6312385
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (5146)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Ugh (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

#6312169
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4869) - you deserved it (65270)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9875) - you deserved it (34227)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34971) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

#6310101
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (11000)

On 11/15/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by shiiiiit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

#6309981
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43700) - you deserved it (5577)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (2872)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (5407)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight this shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow and I tugged to hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

#6308851
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7409) - you deserved it (32089)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Unknown - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: