LSouljette

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Lsouljette's favorite FMLs

Check this out

By cunning glassist - 08/03/2014 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

agreeclassic 53 172

vote type 1 10 952

By Sad Student - 03/02/2014 03:26 - Canada - Toronto

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

agreeclassic 42 632

vote type 1 16 071

Sweet talker

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 22:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

agreeclassic 56 113

vote type 1 7 275

By Cacahuete - 28/12/2013 14:46 - France - Villejuif

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

agreeclassic 42 891

vote type 1 7 376

Pleased to meet y'all

By rokkstarrrVRV - 28/12/2013 08:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

agreeclassic 46 350

vote type 1 5 171