laden_swallow09

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  • Buttfuck, USA
  • 89 years-old
  • Wednesday 23 June 1937
  • Not specified

About Laden_swallow09

They updated the App, so I can read my hate mail! Yay!

I really wish I could take back some of my FYL or YDI votes, since I tend to miss the button I'm aiming for. And why did they replace the YDI button with this stupid "Glad It Wasn't Me" bullshit? Making FML a more friendly and PC place? I dun geddit. Speaking of PC, this website is ageist against the elderly! Try changing your birthday and see what happens when you say you're born before 1936.

I like to point out stupidity whenever I see it, but that's likely why you're here on my profile, innit?

"It's now very common for them to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that,' as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning. It has no purpose. It has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" – Stephen Fry, actor/comedian

If you're thinking about getting an iPhone 6/+, don't. They're way too big.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot…
HEIL, SPELLCHECK!

Laden_swallow09 - Followers

nellie629

Laden_swallow09 - Followed

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Laden_swallow09's FML badges

What'ch'all looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

FAAAAAACEBOOK

Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

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The Mixer

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Friendless, or not going out tonight?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1 a.m. Happy New Year!

Socialite

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50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favorites

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It's in the can!

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Judgmental

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YDI Master

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

I'm a rock star

You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.

Tommy Wiseau

You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Tell us what happened next

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I liked to the power of 20

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My diary is a collector's item

There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

Gandhi

You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.

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Laden_swallow09's favorite FMLs

cats1234 tells us more.

cats1234 15

Op here, I do not work at a bank, I work at a bong shop the keeps the money we deposit in the bank in a safe, which only pays a little above minimum wage, they do have cameras but I don't know if the RCMP looked at the footage or not. The RCMP are taking it very seriously and whoever is responsible is going to be charged I just hope they are able to catch the person who really did it. I am certainly not going to replace money I did not take, but more so I would not want the record that goes with it. I don't know if they can charge me without evidence. I didn't know how to respond to some of the things the cop was saying which is what made me nervous (I have pretty bad anxiety). He said I stole the money because I am in a bit of hard times and Easter was coming up and there is no way to track cash, I told him I didn't even buy one piece of chocolate for Easter never mind $1000 worth and the only hard time I'm having is, having my pay withheld because of this situation, which wasn't a good enough answer for the cop. It's hard to prove my innocence because I was the one who found the money missing in the first place, $35 missing from the til and reported it to my manager who said it was probably just a mistake, and to check my coworkers deposit in the safe for the missing money, when I opened it there was only $4.15 when it was supposed to be $350 so I reported that and they came to the conclusion it must be my fault because, their words "I was the last person to see the money" but it was already gone when I got there. Then a week later I did my deposit for the day and put it into the box the next day my coworker said all that was left when she went to the bank was around $10 when it was supposed to be around $400, then my manger decided we take our own deposits home with us and deposit to the bank on our days off which fixed the money going missing problem, but then on Easter Sunday after I closed at around 6:15 and took home my deposit someone went into the store at night and used the alarm code that was just reset a few days before to stop the alarm from going off only me and the other girl know the code, I am pretty sure they didn't take any money that time just broke a bunch of pipes and bongs which is strange. My theory is maybe my coworker didn't know if I would take my deposit home and went to look for it. Guess I'll just have to wait and see!