cakebeam

Not specified

0
Followed

0
Followers

0
Badges

2
Comments

574
Visits

116
Favorites

Not specified
Not specified
Not specified

About Cakebeam

Not specified

Cakebeam - Followers

Cakebeam - Followed

Cakebeam's page visits

lovers5201

Hugged!

Cakebeam's FML badges

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Cakebeam's favorite FMLs

Creepy

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 133 023

By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 883

You deserved it 5 709

Freakout time

By cricketeer - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 095

You deserved it 6 679

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 335

You deserved it 2 697

By superfiedman - 04/08/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 533

You deserved it 3 441

By Angry - 04/08/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 964

You deserved it 7 206

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 545

You deserved it 39 481

News to me

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 23:50 - Canada

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 709

You deserved it 51 696

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 305

Is this a joke to you?

By smiletellsall - 06/08/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 437

You deserved it 3 143

Graveyard remix

By Jacky-Boy - 07/08/2009 00:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 619

You deserved it 7 487

America! F*** yeah!

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 251

You deserved it 7 233

By rivercitybarf - 08/08/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 732

You deserved it 6 911

By guard35 - 12/08/2009 17:02 - Canada

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 169

You deserved it 12 403

guard35 tells us more.

guard35 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 3:25

omg,everybody needs to calm down. im not fat. and im not looking for sympathy. i just thought it was funny that the kid said that. i dont think that "my life is over", i thought it was hilarious and laughed forever and told pretty much anyone who wanted to listen. i probably have higher self esteem that most of you on this site anyways. go find something better to do with your life than waste it on the computer ranting about stupid things. k thanks bye

By juliaspaperbags - 16/08/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 904

You deserved it 8 115