Mr beirut, lebanon 28 years-old Single
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML
Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML
Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML
Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML
Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
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