96qbb

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toronto, cananda
34 years-old
Wednesday 13 March 1991
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96qbb's favorite FMLs

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

agreeclassic 707

vote type 1 493

By recordyear - 09/08/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

agreeclassic 32 911

vote type 1 7 529

By Sharee K. - 08/08/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year-old man's junk. FML

agreeclassic 40 556

vote type 1 6 597

By Anonymous - 08/08/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

agreeclassic 59 017

vote type 1 4 081

Heated debate

By Username - 07/08/2011 21:44 - United States

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

agreeclassic 31 064

vote type 1 16 490