Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
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Top comments
haileyrows 26
Unfortunately, that's not necessarily true because most rapists are after a feeling of power, not a gratifying sexual experience. But I suppose if Grandma is going to insult you at least she tried to put a positive spin on it!
WCARlover 35
Grandmas say the darnedest things
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Comments (65)
deathstroke990 22
oh Jesus ****
syki 22
According to Grandma, he probably wouldn't.
Feklfekl2222 32
Grandma's are inconsiderate more often than we'd like them to be. I guess it's a product of coming from vastly different times... But on a more cheery (or should that be Cheri) note, that's a great username, always nice to see other pratchett fans on the web
sillygirl247 14
#35 maybe they are wise enough to know it doesn't ******* matter what you say or do as long as you are happy and of that pisses other people off well then **** em. **** the unspoken social code. Speak your mind and free yourself. Its better to let people know what you really think vs being fake.
Mynamewontfi 40
#37 Your username fits your comment.
Kurby14 21
umm... I guess that's a compliment??? sorry op that sucks
fishystixxx 9
compliment? You're kidding right?
bigbrown24 17
perhaps she's right and time to do something about it?
MisterEx 28
Ikr? I too want to be rape-able. Wait, what?
lysx84 24
I can see the articles now... "How to get a rape-able body in just 10 easy steps!" "Not getting raped? Fix that with these celeb endorsed tips!" "Shirley had never been raped, find out how she turned her life around!"
17_love 10
Why would u say something like that to somebody? You might have made them start an eating disorder or something. please dont say stuff like that.
sparkledoge 29
There might be nothing wrong with OP. My weight is average, there isn't a space between my thighs or anything but my senile grandmother keeps saying i'm too skinny and borderline anorexic.
haileyrows 26
Unfortunately, that's not necessarily true because most rapists are after a feeling of power, not a gratifying sexual experience. But I suppose if Grandma is going to insult you at least she tried to put a positive spin on it!
Sathane 21
Who said it was an insult? It's quite possibly very true. I can't wait to get super old so that I can speak matter of factly with much lighter consequences.
WarMachine68 24
#15, where I come from, that's called abusing your power
Vitani_Verci 24
Please educate yourself so you'll stop going around believing that only "attractive" people get raped. That's far from true.
The_Avatar 22
Dementia is a bitch.
gotaplanstan 28
no...just grandma is
dyoy_87 21
Take it back. Videos
oliviadanjou99 15
People with dementia normally don't understand the power of what they're saying. Don't take it personally, at my internship I was helping people with dementia and they would make comments about people all the time. They just don't understand what they're saying sometimes.
firefighter925 18
Exactly
WCARlover 35
Grandmas say the darnedest things
skippydoda 32
Well, that's going to be reassuring when you have to walk alone at night...
katachristic 19
"You TOLD me I wouldn't get raped grandma! "
Eliiara 11
That's actually kind of disturbing.