Today, my cat loves to chase birds. In fact, he loves it so much, he ran out of the litter box mid-poop to chase one, forcing me to wipe his ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML
Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
Today, I got a new cat for my birthday. It ate my bird right when we got home, then it ran away. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Today, after a lifetime of captivity, a neutering, and induced perpetual kittenhood—what science folk refer to as "behavioral neoteny"—I finally saw a chance to fulfill my predatory purpose! Not only did I fail miserably, but my captor took the opportunity to further humiliate me with unwanted ass-play.
RichardPencil 32
The cat "forced" you to wipe his ass? Who's the pussy in this scenario?
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Comments (15)
Shawn2095 18
Seems like a shitty situation. (I'm sorry)
Siehnados 17
Bird probably thought it was safe to fly past too, your cat is smarter than you think (and smarter than it probably looked at the time).
RichardPencil 32
The cat "forced" you to wipe his ass? Who's the pussy in this scenario?
Tripartita 45
Today, after a lifetime of captivity, a neutering, and induced perpetual kittenhood—what science folk refer to as "behavioral neoteny"—I finally saw a chance to fulfill my predatory purpose! Not only did I fail miserably, but my captor took the opportunity to further humiliate me with unwanted ass-play.
LyricaSilvan 30
You know, I've always been a dog person, but I love cats too. They sound like an absolute riot to live with.
missa8604 26
They are funny- more affectionate than you think and super independent/capable of being alone if you work or go to school. I got my cat when he was a few weeks old and he's 12 now. We have moved 9 times together and is the best lap warmer lol. You won't regret a cat (though I love dogs too)!
somedudesomewher 29
Sounds like a cat alright
cheshireau 26
Maybe your cat should become an inside cat so it doesn't kill your native bird life.. or any bird life that matter.
Bearsmomma 30
I doubt OP has the cat use an outdoor litter box.
megatron93 5
Then how does the cat have access to birds while in the litter box?
JustTheTruth42 13
This thing called a pet door.
MedChew 19
Wait what? So he only liked chasing birds today? What about yesterday? And the day before? And how were you forced you to wipe ass? So many questions
ickyjuice 8
Better he could sit on your face and smother another hapless cat person off the planet for the rest of us... oh well, birds it is.