Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
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Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
*Looks at location* Yup.
EnderNutt 16
Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?
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Comments (94)
EnderNutt 16
Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?
Jay18 22
can't decide if this is a pun or actual advice
Qandol 26
Maybe you should have talk with him and tell him about your interest in your sexual desire..
TheGolfGTI 24
*Looks at location* Yup.
ohSNAPyall 27
Boo
RedneckV2 5
Lmao
lol_damn_bro 14
As a Texan I can confirm
Mcstud1y 30
Here's another Texan confirmation.
lantz4levi 19
As a Pennsylvanian I can confirm too that up here we all get them. Most likely Wyoming, Alaska and all your other redneck/country folk towns are
vikky538 29
Yup. We get a raging boner in those stores
PANDORUM89 21
my entire family can confirm this.
skittlesucker55 9
Texas
ssnow_fml 20
Same thing happens to me at gun stores. I love my guns more than any girl I ever dated.
SecundusSecunda 27
From YouTube, Happiness and Cyanide. /45glq7huJJc
youdontsay123456 21
Happiness and cyanide? ...... Shame on you, at least get the name correct
Arkham_Callabero 15
That's really sad if you think about it
SecundusSecunda 27
Sorry about my small mix-up lol
GreenArrow085 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I can certainly believe it. Girls are usually extremely selfish and don't even realize it.
deminchic 22
You've probably been hanging out with the wrong girls then.
kolby12309 26
oh shoot!
pjsr 33
It sounds like if you'd like to see his package more often, you need to start packing
chosha_fml 27
Maybe you know all you need to know to decide your next move.
EpicLeeGames 12
In all seriousness, his dick might fit in a ten bore...
TheSiraffe 16
Ammosexualism is a real sexuality