The Top

I really can't buy my own detergent, I can't drive yet. I would walk to the store and buy it there, but all of the roads have no sidewalks and the cars don't stop. I do my own laundry, but have to use the soap, and when it gets on my hands it's like instant rash.

By lovethateuropeanblood - 08/12/2014 14:12 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 072

You deserved it 5 081

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 539

You deserved it 2 371

Cringe

By iamshrimpy - 08/01/2010 06:24 - Canada

Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 114

You deserved it 6 043

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 20:01

Today, I got a new name, which is “We” apparently. My supervisor keeps admonishing me about details, saying, “WE don’t do that” and, “WE make sure to do this”, while she herself simply does anything she pleases, including the opposite of what she tells me “we do”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 131

By Boob - 07/01/2010 16:36 - United Kingdom

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 658

You deserved it 34 971

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 799

You deserved it 49 920

By punaise ... - 05/12/2014 02:12 - France - Marchaux

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 42

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 439

You deserved it 54 899

By Anonymous - 06/01/2010 18:19 - United States

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 988

You deserved it 2 890

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 063

You deserved it 36 629

First and last date

By Xyanthe - 18/03/2023 00:00

Today, my date was making remarks about “stupid illegals” and “immigrants are everything wrong with this country” because our waiter barely spoke English and apparently got his order wrong. When I reminded him I’m an immigrant, he said, “But you speak English and you’re legal, so you don’t count.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 279

Caturday surprise

By Help - 01/04/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, there are two cats in my basement that won't stop fighting. Loudly. I'm trying to sleep, if you don't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 191

By nerd - 18/06/2009 14:15 - Finland

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 329

You deserved it 76 364

Siren king

By drreeeewwww - 25/11/2014 20:44 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 3 758

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 04:47 - United States - Norwalk

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 803

You deserved it 2 724

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 181

You deserved it 6 943

Unlawful

By Transgirl is Tired - 28/03/2023 02:00

Today, it's been three weeks since I’ve seen my kids. My ex just decided that I was a safety concern after we had 50/50 for almost two years. Now I just gotta wait until I can see a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 212

Bien joué

By ChelseaGirl - 22/08/2024 16:00 - France - Nice

Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 538

Big kid

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 5 733

By grosssss - 01/01/2010 13:03 - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 756

You deserved it 3 439

Not now, mom, I'm in pain

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 05:01 - Germany - Aachen

Today, my mom wrote me an email, asking how I was doing after an accident yesterday. I wrote back at length, telling her everything in detail. Two hours later, she calls me on the phone, asking how I am. She was simply too lazy to check her mail and expected me to tell her everything a second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 198

Happy nothing at all

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 07:05 - United States - Denver

Today, Betty White died. What a great way to start the new year… FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 240

By MorganRox26 - 31/12/2009 16:52 - Canada

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 570

You deserved it 3 055

Get It Together

By FML Videos - 21/11/2018 00:30

We can't even give an A for effort...

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 876

You deserved it 53 284

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 902

You deserved it 21 376

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 477

You deserved it 4 500

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 925

You deserved it 38 113

Today, I was at work and was in a conversation with some colleagues. I go to check my phone and accidentally clicked on the Safari app. Safari still had PornHub pulled up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 436

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 103