Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML
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Top comments
dayzz1 10
I think they took the term "house warming" the wrong way...
darwinism 30
No harm done. They were just celebrating that you are moving out of their house. It is good to see thay still have some spark in their sex life. But if you really want to stir the pot just say "Not again. I played this guessing game last week when the neighbour came over to say goodbye."
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Comments (109)
ShazzRandom 7
At least you can't tell them to get a room.
Dr0reos 8
Well OP guessing games can be fun too.
hama806 19
Christening each room now has a new meaning.
roseXthorns 8
I thought of the game Clue when I read this FML.
PinkieKeen 20
Be prepared for semen covered walls.
dayzz1 10
I think they took the term "house warming" the wrong way...
MDTeddy 13
Id be pissed and never invite them over. **** them. I know it is mean, but I would be afraid to sleep or sit anywhere.
Mideoyeo 12
Its people having sex not some damn contagious disease. So they had sex, big deal.
DrDilllonReese 12
The big deal is that it's disrespectful because its OP's home. Not only that, but nobody wants to think of their parents having sex, especially in a room that could potentially be their bedroom. Obviously parents do, but I personally would prefer not to think about it. That's why it's a big deal.
Mideoyeo 12
You realize that some kids have sex in their parents houses right? Guess having sex is disrespectful now. I think it would have been more disrecpectful to hide this fact from OP.
walmartpaysme 15
If OP's dad hadn't said anything, OP would have never known. Honestly, they probably didn't actually have sex. They probably thought it would just be funny to see how OP reacted.
saksxalmo 20
#45, that's such an unfair argument. First of all, you don't even know that OP had sex in her parents' house. But besides that, in every FML that someone is caught having sex by their parents, even if you don't know whether it was in the parents' house or whether the OP is a teenager, people use the "It's their house, so you have to follow their rules" argument. I don't see how it's right to expect teenagers to respect their parent's rules about having sex when it's in their house, but not expect the same respect when the child moves out. It's such BS. And anyway, teenagers don't really have a choice about where to have sex if they choose to have it. The parents DID, and they chose to have it in a house they don't even live in. tl;dr version: Your argument is such a false analogy...
RedPillSucks 33
It's called "payback" for all the times OP had sex at their parents house. Parents got tired waiting for Karma to do it for them.
Inheritance 10
On the bright side 2 is pretty ******* hot, who agrees?
dayzz1 10
#101 hahaha thankyou
xlord 27
Have fun figuring out which room you want to sleep in.
Goldenchest 14
Get a blacklight. Problem solved.
spazz666 18
That actually doesn't work. I've tried it.
darwinism 30
No harm done. They were just celebrating that you are moving out of their house. It is good to see thay still have some spark in their sex life. But if you really want to stir the pot just say "Not again. I played this guessing game last week when the neighbour came over to say goodbye."
d_unsub 12
lol lol And next day he would be an orphan with a father behind bars
Saryrr 3
That's a creepy profile picture.
mbusey 20
Gross. Not that they had sex, but that they didn't do it in their room *shudder*
emilyjgraham 34
You are allowed sex outside of your bedroom even when you do have children!
Ozuru 11
But OP's dad shouldn't have bragged. I think it's okay as long as there's nobody in the house but them. Though, would you like stains from your parents having sex, on your carpet?
emh86 14
Mbusey u sound like a prude. Just saying ;)
supportcommand 17
10-stains? Ejaculate has always washed out in my experiences. You must be having some period sex and/or some messy anal to make that comment.
Minx108 12
I think 10 interpreted the dads comment about leaving it to Op to figure out to mean the dad left clues. :/ May have meant temporary stains then ...
Zoh_Aubrey 8
5, oh please! I'm sure you were conceived in a super cute bed of roses and not the backseat of your dad's car.
bigtexas78 2
Get over it. People have sex. And not just in their room. I know...
vbmg152 19
What? Older people have to "do it" in our room? Are you for real? As soon as my kids move out & that will be soon, we can "do it" anywhere we want! Lol!!! It's gonna be great! We've been married 24 years & had kids 22 of those years!
Manj3rico 3
Lol!! Prudest comment ever!
smrish 3
Where do ya think babies come from? Not a little bird in the sky, that's for sure!
DerrickJames 33
Look at the bright side of things! Your parents are still in love!
Llamacod 11
not necessarily, they may just be two lustful, horny people
emeraldisle 30
Better them telling you than you walking in on them.
iRoc46n2 4
Or walking into "it" That is if Op doesn't correctly guess which room
Rodders_SOTC 1
Dad - legend.
Enslaved 38
It's funny how if it was the OP having sex in his parents' house, everyone would say how disrespectful it is and yet no one seems to think that when the parents do it in his house? Sorry respect is respect. Doesn't matter who's house it is.
emilyjgraham 34
I never knew there were so many prudes in the world!
zolziski 11
I think usually the comments on those FMLs lean toward the "that's disrespectful" side of things, because the KIDS are usually sneaking around, breaking RULES, too young to be having sex etc.
Dracoboxer357 36
25- Oh yes you did, don't lie. ;)
Enslaved 38
25 prude? Why, because I don't believe in double standards? Haha whatever. 26 you're right to a certain degree but not always the cases I've seen so far. :P
eternal7 6
Turnabout is fair play
FMLshark 12
25- You're one of those people who believe that anyone who is disgusted by people having sex in their house when they don't live there are "prudes". No, it's called being ******* respectful. I'd rather that than be someone who uses my mom's bed to sleep with my boyfriend. I'm sure you'd think differently if you found out your parents had sex on your bed, though. Not so prudish anymore.
perdix 31
#29, oh, no, double standards abound in parenting. I've told my daughter many times that there are things that we adults do that she can't. If she wants to do something that I feel it too "grown up" for her, I ask her how she would like it if I played "Barbies" while her friends were around, and she could pay bills and taxes. That's ends that, usually.
emilyjgraham 34
The way I interpreted their comment was different to others, I apologize for coming across like an idiot. I actually find the whole situation with OP quite funny, but then that's because I have a weird sense of humour. I agree with you on the whole "having sex in your parents bed" thing though! Again, sorry for coming across as disrespectful.
Enslaved 38
Oh, perdix, what will you do when your daughter does grow up and pays bills and taxes? I'll be should not to ask for mayonnaise on my sandwiches during my visits to her new house.(:
perdix 31
#52, I'll play Barbies and make her take me to a Justin Bieber concert. Make sure when you visit her house, you ask for a "sandwich," and not a "sammich." ;)
Enslaved 38
Damn! I tried to edit "should" to "sure" and ran out of time. Or maybe I need some of that "tough love" you spoke about in an earlier FML!;)
AholeCop 11
"Trick question. All of them."
supportcommand 17
That's what my answer would have been if I was the dad. Gotta mess with your kids heads. Any good parent would.