Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!
RomanBeauty 0
Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.
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Comments (145)
malfoyfreak 3
It's one pair of socks, I'm sure you have many. Saves washing them! But it does suck you got stuck with dirty toilet paper. FYL
CVeNgineer 0
It's not like she had to wear the toilet paper around her neck for the rest of the day for not throwing it in first lol
Epic_Fail911 15
If someone walked in ,you'ld looked like you were masturbating
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I'm pretty sure the FML is that the socks would probably clog her toilet. Well, that's assuming she went ahead and flushed it before she realized.
Keyman1212 14
Just about every comment on here will probably get moderated, and the comments will close real soon... You can't go around saying an FML isn't an FML. Staff don't like that -_-
changesinme 0
If you're worried about having only one side of a sock, you could always flush down the other
Keyman1212 14
Dickriding a comment sounds hard to do...
Wdgames 0
Oh baby, KaySL, take me. Now!
bfsd42 20
KaySL, did someone tape over your Barney and Friends recordings? Cos you have some serious anger issues that you might want to get checked out. Just shut the **** up ok!
audreyy062 2
at least u didnt accidently wipe with the wet socks...
audreyy062 2
at least u didnt accidently wipe with the wet socks...
cheefer 0
The mods around here are such douches. Will this comment be moderated?
YoTengoTomatoes 7
But I don't get why op is complaining. If the socks were already wet and you were probably going to wash them why does it matter? Unless you had explosive diarrhea then calm down.
asspole 16
That socks. What a shitty situation.
steadycreepin 5
The socks, but it's not that bad just get another pair
hayq 5
At least she didn't wipe with the wet socks first?
MagicallyFat 12
How great is that feeling of taking off wet socks and replacing them with warm toasty ones.
je_suis_fml 11
44- or even nice warm undies out the dryer. ahh yesss. simplicities that make the world go round.
MagicallyFat 12
44 it's so funny how these simple things make us soo happy and comfy. Like after a long day you crawl in your already set bed. Ahhhh akowndbclafjka
RuskiManBearPig 4
2- way to represent us texans
TheFunSideOfTheB 2
What if she threw the toilet paper in the toilet
tiarrae 10
72 - Then there wouldn't of been an FML.
bizarre_ftw 22
But there would be a winning troll
distantrelatives 0
Fresh out of the dryer sheets omg amazing
fylasmuchasmine 0
I wonder if they actually pee'd... If they shit, it'd be more of an FML, also, more hilarious. Dude, it's a pair of socks. YDI.
Buttsexpirate 9
Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!
m0tl3ycru3 0
The OP's socks are now surrounded by feces.
smwatcher 3
Know I understand...
TahoeFMler 22
Um, she said she had to pee, not poo. Hopefully she fished them out before flushing though!
TheFunSideOfTheB 2
3-She threw the toilet paper in the toilet your welcome
white16sox 19
51 I believe 30 was insinuating OP flushed it and it was surrounded by feces in the sceptic tank.
RomanBeauty 0
Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.
malfoyfreak 3
Some people are dipwads. They dont understand grossness.
bizarre_ftw 22
4 - Because it's better than sticking your hand 5 inches away from the particulates you just ejected from your body....
Krulin 8
98- why is it such a big deal? Do you not wash your hands when you're done in the bathroom? Why do people always complain about the "germy toilet/soap handle" when you're just going to wash your hands 5 seconds later anyways?
MrKlutch 1
People are dumbasses Or they just don't wash their hands. Eww
CVeNgineer 0
Ehh.. There expendable
every1luvsboners 11
Where? I don't see it.
RetardedBullFrog 4
Over there
flockz 20
where? *looks down* here?
Jimboom 12
Thats ok. They were a pretty shitty pair of socks anyway.. or at least they are now. Flush it and forget about it.
hayq 5
Cause the toilet to back up, require a plumber and spend a fortune.....or fish them out before flushing, rinse them off and wash them like normal.
Savra_fml 17
So, you usually wipe with one hand and toss with the other?
420smoke420 3
It was the toilet paper?.... Damn it was the socks wasn't it?.... No I'm going to stick with toilet paper.... Was it the socks? Toilet paper... I give up what did you throw in?
FUUUandyourmom 16
Please stop being funny for the sake of humanity, please and thank you.
FUUUandyourmom 16
Stop trying to.*
deviable 9
Somebody has their socks in a bunch.
white16sox 19
33 if you go to Walmart they have a sale going on. You can get a sense of humor NO CHARGE!
oxxxjackyxxxo 3
it was the sock.... it wudnt had been an fml if she had thrown in the paper -_-
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Did you also put on the used toilet paper on your feet?
TalkinSmack 6
Pee is sterile.... Just grab the socks
nothingmuch_ 5
Still, whatever's there you already have. So can't really infect yourself with something that's already on you
esmanee 2
You also have potentially deadly bacteria all over and inside of your body. They are there constantly, however they only sometimes cause infection. I'm not agreeing with either of you- just saying your argument wasn't a good one.
esmanee 2
You also have potentially deadly bacteria all over and inside of your body. They are there constantly, however they only sometimes cause infection. I'm not agreeing with either of you- just saying your argument wasn't a good one.