Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML
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Top comments
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
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Comments (181)
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
easylazy 0
HAHA why would you WANT a male doctor??? Unless you have an embarrassingly small penis.....
Asmoday_fml 0
why would you even want male doctors working on your junk?
McLaughlane 0
The same reason that some girls prefer a female gynecologist. :P
humorizer 14
The fact that every single comment has too many negative votes has been the only thing on this site that made me actually chuckle :D Not to say that the site's not funny; I mean I smile at the funny ones. But this situation actually made me chuckle a lil.
gnbfd 0
why is every single comment blocked out? also, wow op. why would you want a male doctor for that?
divineinstrument 2
Why is this so hard to understand? Most men prefer a male doctor inspecting their male parts; and most women prefer a female doctor inspecting their female parts. It's got nothing to do with sexuality! And who or what is burying all the comments on this site?
DizzyDemon0 9
I dunno about you guys..but I have always had a female doctor. I felt weird when I was like 14 going to some guy touchin on mah balls and stuff..not cool. So i got a female doctor. She isn't wicked hot like I asked for..but she's reasonably attractive in her mid 40's. Now I'm 19 and it works out much better.
akiro525 3
some people feel uncomfortable around the opposite sex, i guess the OP is one of them,
GrapefruitZoe 0
Yeah, I would rather have a female gynecologist.
DangerousBabee 0
Ahh that must hurt REALLY BAD! I could imagine the pain and I dont even have balls :P
cucuto89 0
I would MUCH rather have a guy working on my junk than a chick. Oh yea also, I noticed your bike seat is just a big black *****. lol, inside joke at work from me
Finnboghi 0
He wanted a male doctor because a chick just simply wouldn't understand. As someone who has been through testicular torsion (cited as being more painful than childbirth), I can honestly say that when a female doctor examines them, she just doesn't understand the pain, sensitivity, and emotion attached to the experience. Imagine giving birth to both of your ovaries, and you kind of get the idea.
jisaac09 25
Actually, Im a guy, and most guys would MUCH rather a WOMAN touch his junk than a MAN......
Rikku95 0
lol I'm a girl, and I would much rather have a guy working on me for that than a girl. It's kinda like which one would you rather have "touching" you.
Thabb 0
I bet he got an erection.
FYlife604 18
I was going to say. But this reminds me of the time I had to get 2 medical done for us immigration the time the guy was there he didn't bother feeling balls yet the older women did so that was OK but still awkward
maxamillion529 0
2nd ... OWNED
CrazyDutch 0
so, wats the problem? a female doctor is better than a male on
Colby_Colbert 0
showing your yamsack to a bunch of female doctors ... whats the prob here? are you a virgin with a hair trigger? i see oppurtunity 4 ya virgin boy
noobgang7 5
lol it's the only girl that will get near his penis and stay there for more than 3 seconds
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
cybermolly10 7
Yeah, and then why would you bump up a curb?
NikkiJC 0
That sucks soo much!!! FYL!
emorockerownage 9
fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail
VroomVroomVroom 0
THANK YOU.
the_enigma1019 1
Read your comment, that is what you managed to do #6
ashylarry 0
you'd rather have a guy handle your balls? to each his own, I guess...
GeekFairy 0
Dude, I'd need stitches even if I DIDN'T hit a bump. Ow.
Zer0de 0
Umm, Did you really want a male doctor touching your scrotum? I would have loved a Nurse touching my junk.
regalarius 0
*facepalm* Because nurses are always female, and doctors always male, right? I'm glad that everyone else has spoken my opinion on the FML, though - personally, I always prefer female doctors to male ones. Gentler touch, I guess...yeah, that's it. :-D
soccerboy101 0
Sry that sucks with the female doctors but u aren't that much of a biker, I take it?