Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML
Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
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Top comments
kellanlvr 1
you stick it in the hole, move it around a bit, then take it out..easy :D
FYLDeep 26
Step 1: Grab the pencil. Step 2: Sharpen the ******* pencil.
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Comments (79)
annadorkable 0
LOL . thats not too bad
MasterE56 4
how's sharpening pencils for a good paying job bad?
natirixoxo 0
yeah fyl because a boss talked down to you. old news.
kellanlvr 1
you stick it in the hole, move it around a bit, then take it out..easy :D
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
who knew that pencil sharpening lessons would spark sexual harassment claims o.O
xMaNNiNGx119 0
thats what she said! :P can't believe no one said that
starrs_movingIn 0
nahh, your supposed to leave it in for a while. duhh!
aardvarkish 17
Depends on the pencil...
bfflrhea 0
u have blue hair., n thats whatshe said. lmao
tygerarmy 35
But which hole does it go in? Some have different sized holes, for crayons or fingers. And how do we know when we're done? It would be funnier if it was the little hand held sharpener.
ChibiGirl5 0
maybe a pen-is would be even better xD
iSCREAMMM 0
Make sure the pencil cums (out) right. And also, your boss needs you to sharpen his rod too. (:
rallets 23
who down-thumbed all the good jokes?
jazzy514 7
haha it's like a quickie: in and out in 3 seconds
iSitt 0
What would da dog whisperer say about that?
cusof 0
U have to be in a calm, assertive state of mind. And you use your energy, its all about your energy.
Seanie 0
tss tss shhh
abes22 0
it's cos ur gay. and he wants you pencil. ;D
payton3233 0
The grammar Nazis are going to be all over this post.
White_Fury 0
Oh wow, omg FYL for having someone explain something to you. Yeah. Your life is screwed! lol GET OVER IT!
sailorzoe 14
It could be worse. you could be doing all the shit that people who get paid more than you and not get any pay increase. I do my boss' job all the time and he makes seven more dollars an hour than I do.
starile 20
Was he using terms like "use a gentle thrust motion" and hiding a hand in his pants at his own detailed description of... "pencil sharpening"?
perdix 31
Maybe, Mr. Fancy Pants, despite all your high-falutin' book larnin', you suck at sharpening pencils. No matter how many degrees you have, you still can be an educated fool. Now, sharpen those pencils like da boss wants his pencils sharpened. PS: If you were a real engineer worth a shit, you'd have shown him what a mechanical pencil is and be done with the tedium of sharpening.
valalvax 13
just like an artist wouldn't use a mechanical pencil, neither would an engineer (note: yes I'm sure both have used mechanical pencils, but there's a reason there are fancy artist shading pencils and engineering drafting pencils) though, for writing crap, mechanical pencils are vastly superior
aardvarkish 17
Depends on the detail needed. I routinely use 0.3mm mechanical pencils for my artwork. It's not just a haphazard deal, or got nothing better lying around.
valalvax 13
well, I tried to say there are situations where it doesn't matter, but there are situations where you wouldn't dare use a mechanical pencil
TheDrifter 24
Uhmm drafting pencils are mechanical pencils, albeit very nice ones.
cdude200 10
because your boss has a sense of humor
Sisaac 0
Now everyone who is a jerk has a sense of humor. Great, just great.
Jewelofagal 2
Don't engineers usually carry around mechanical pencils? No need to sharpen those... Perhaps gift one to your boss.
DRock525 0
yah, a mechanics engineer sounds like someone who works on cars and wants to sound special, if your were a mechanically Engineer like other people ( me ) you wouldn't be sharpening pencils. ps- I do use mechanical pencils and auto cad ( no lead required)