Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML
LoveIsOneSided tells us more.
Hi! I'm the OP of this. I lost my leg because of a clumsy accident. In 2013 I tripped walking into my kitchen, and cut my foot on a piece of tile (we were redoing the floor, and only had half the room done). I ended up in the hospital for about a week with an infection. Two weeks after getting out of the hospital, I suddenly got a fever that spiked so quickly, and got so high, I couldn't remember my own name. I was in the hospital that time for 84 days. This second infection got out of control. To this day, they don't know why or technically what it was (on record it's a severe case of cellulitis), but within twelve days of being admitted, I started getting small blisters from my toes to my knee. At thirty days, I was running a fever almost every night (fine during the day), and had lost feeling in half my leg. By sixty days, the blisters had ruptured and I had bigger blisters in some areas, and holes in other areas. They did a surgery where they basically shaved my skin off, thinking that would stop the blistering. Which it did. Once they did that, I was able to go home. But what should have taken a few weeks to heal, took almost a year. I had infections off and on throughout the year, and was on antibiotics at least once a month, every month. In December of 2014, I got a cut on that same leg. Within a week, it was blistered up again. I was back in the hospital, and back on heavy antibiotics. At this point, I had massive nerve damage in the leg, and couldn't feel most of; what I could feel was painful. I'm 28, and there were days when I couldn't walk, because every step felt like I was splitting my skin apart. They never got these blisters under control. The blistering never went past my knee. There was almost a line where they stopped, around my leg. I've had cuts on other parts of my body without an issue, so we don't why this happened or what technically caused it. When they couldn't get the blistering under control, they upped the antibiotics. When I started to show signs of kidney failure, we discussed options. I was able to keep my knee, but lost the leg a few inches below it. I don't have a prosthetic yet, and for the most part I'm okay with it. It's not pain free, but it's not like it was before. One of my brothers, from the minute I woke up from surgery, has been calling me Peggy (my name is not even close lol), but it's all in fun. To keep my spirits up. I'm not overweight, not diabetic and was never really sick until this. It just happened. I guess sometimes things just happen.
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML
Junkiegamer tells us more.
Junkiegamer 26
Hey it Op, for one I am a male. The break-up wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible. We lived together before hand because we go to college together and I offered to let her new girlfriend stay here, because she had nowhere else to go. I'm not sure what the word is but my ex loves people for who they are, gender doesn't really to her
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML
Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML
Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, I went to the airport to start the amazing 3 week vacation in Costa Rica that I've been saving for and planning for more than a year. They wouldn't let me on the plane because my passport expires in less than 6 months. FML
Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML
Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML
Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML
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