The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 17:13 - United States - Gladewater

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 579

You deserved it 771

You dingdong!

By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 13:58

Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 2 365

Blackmail

By Soefingbroke - 05/02/2022 10:01

Today, I have to choose between paying the mortgage or paying my brother the hush money for him knowing about the affair I had with his friend. He made it clear that if I miss a single payment, he'll tell my wife everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 3 136

Sue! SUE!

By homelessagain - 18/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Lorain

Today, I found out, through Facebook, that my landlord hadn't been paying the mortgage on the house I'm renting from him. It's going into foreclosure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 810

You deserved it 438

By Anonymous - 26/03/2019 00:00

Today, my husband told me that, to feel less unreliable, he was just going to stop saying he was going to do anything around the house. That way, when he actually did something (i.e. wash dishes), I could be pleasantly surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 309

Branded

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 167

Unreasonable

By Tanner_6969 - 11/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 249

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 05:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 490

You deserved it 197

You know what I mean?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 22:00

Today, I accidentally texted my new housemate saying, “Hey, wanna get freaky before moving in tomorrow morning?” It was supposed to say “breaky”, as in "breakfast." This should be nice and awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 845

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 627

You deserved it 256

Ragebait

By Fortunes Fool - 03/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 995

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 00:01

Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 3 271

Bad dad

By So inappropriate - 09/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 779

By 90 up I-95 - 08/07/2017 02:00 - United States - State College

Today, I was wrapping up my move in a 16-foot truck with my car in tow. Google rerouted me to avoid traffic... through a state park. The road had only one lane. I can still hear the phalanx of cars honking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 505

You deserved it 862

Chuds gonna chud

By Anonymous - 08/09/2023 16:00

Today, I was at a job interview which seemed to be going well until the guy saw on my CV that I prefer they/them pronouns. Now, I’m not pushy about it, but he instantly lost interest and kept checking his phone to make sure he gave me my full 15 minutes; at minute 16 I was out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 1 239

Don't send dickpics (unless requested)

By rachele321 - 20/08/2019 02:00

Today, some guy sent a dickpic to my phone. I was disgusted, and wanted to find out who did it. I called the police, and they matched the number to my stepfather's new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 178

You deserved it 258

Divorce impending

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 20:01

Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 129

What's my name?

By Laura - 22/09/2019 12:00 - Paraguay

Today, as they have for the past three years, my boyfriend's parents have never called me by my actual name. They always "accidentally" call me by my boyfriend's ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 139

By dead rats - 08/08/2016 13:58

Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 705

You deserved it 1 321

By bad_luck_chuck - 04/12/2017 15:00

Today, I got a Samsung Galaxy and opened the box to see a cracked screen. I showed the clerk and she said I must have dropped it. I hadn't moved since she handed me the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 835

You deserved it 217

My Baby Boy

By Lilahpaints - 22/10/2019 18:00

Today, twelve days after stomach surgery, I birthed a left behind, forgotten blood-stained stinky surgical swab from my vagina. I have no idea why it was there in the first place. I feel violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 177

It is the way

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 18:00

Today, after I broke up yet another fight between my sons, I demanded to know why they hate each other and fight all the time. After some blank looks they said, almost in unison, “It is the way” and wouldn’t explain what they meant. Even the internet isn’t being helpful here. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 206

Getting fit for all the wrong reasons

By Anonymous - 01/05/2020 14:00

Today, for the 28th consecutive day, I went jogging for an hour, even though I never really used to, just to get away from my husband and two kids, because being stuck in lockdown with them is boring me out of my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 571

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 10:01

Today, I broke a heel and fell. A real handsome guy helped me up, so being single I said I didn’t know how I might repay him, hoping he might ask me out. He asked me if I’d be willing to go to the public toilets round the corner and suck him off. Why do I even bother trying to find a nice guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 282

Late arrival

By Nikki Lynn Richardson - 18/05/2020 02:00

Today, I went to the store to go buy a pregnancy test because my period was 7 days late. I get home, go into the bathroom, pull down my underwear, pee and come to find out I'd started my period when I looked at it after peeing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 348

Combo breaker

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 20:00

Today, in the middle of an argument, my husband picked me up and sat me on our breakfast bar. I’m terrified of heights so getting down took me over 5 minutes because of how bad I was shaking. He left to meet his friends, who “don’t start arguments just because they’re bored.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 856

Healthy parenting skills

By Ghost1986 - 10/12/2022 12:00 - Australia - Moonah

Today, my ex-wife tried to hit me up for money for a skip bin, because the kids' room was too messy. She then sent me a picture of the mess after I said no, then I retaliated by submitting a report to child services against her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 590

By y00na - 17/08/2018 23:30

Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 1 191

Strange dynamic

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 01:59

Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 2 361

The thanks you get

By ashy.kinz - 01/11/2021 20:00

Today, while cat-sitting at a very nice house, I noticed an outlet had started smoking. I called 911 and got it taken care of, but the homeowners want me to pay for the electrician, since it happened while I was there. They only paid me $40 for the weekend and the electrician wants $350. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 119

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Technology Geek Weird Animals Cute Miscellaneous Birthday Awkward Cake Scary Birds Drunk Embarrassing Roommate Clumsy Mysterious Clothes Work Cats Smartphone Transportation Poopoo peepee Neighbours Kids

The Top

Today, my father came downstairs, wearing my mother's dressing gown. It didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 309

You deserved it 1 202

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 492

You deserved it 9 829

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 997

You deserved it 6 439

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran-wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard the doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They'd saran-wrapped my car again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 575

You deserved it 5 915

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 320

Today, I'm being ghosted by someone who said they wanted to meet up, but never texted me. She could've just said she wasn't interested, but instead we made plans. She kept writing back, saying how excited she was to meet me, and then I never heard from her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 93