Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, our dog is old and deaf, and has figured out she just needs to bark if she needs to be let inside. Unfortunately, she's also a bit senile, so sometimes she just barks for no reason, while lying still and quite comfortably on her dog bed, staring at nothing. FML
Today, our deaf old dog not only barks for no reason while lying comfortably on her dog bed, lacking for nothing, she now also barks in her sleep. And not those dreamy little yips either; full barks, loud enough to be heard in the next room. Which is where I sleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, my corgi brought her new favorite treat into my bed: a rotting deer hoof with six inches of leg. She left it on my pillow, and the smell woke me up. She wasn't even on the bed when I woke up. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML
Today, my roommate finally moved out yesterday, so I got to experience my first night without the ticking time bomb that is his dogs. I still woke up at the exact time when they would always bark for no reason, apparently out of habit. For the record, that time is around 3 AM. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wrhapsody 10
that's not how cadaver dogs are trained to alert to finding a body or a piece of one... they're trained to sit and bark or to place their paw near the area... not growl incessantly as if they were gonna kill someone. probably a ghost... or a mouse in the wall.
maroongrad 13
More likely you need to get some mouse traps. She may have heard one in the walls.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
Glowworm56 27
Did your dog just solve an ancient murder mystery and discovered that someone's body was sealed within that wall?
zuckerburg 21
Nope. Timmy is still stuck in the well... just turns out to be the well of The Ring that resides in this house now...
RichardPencil 32
How’s a dead body going to hurt you? Except for the smell.
Glowworm56 27
True, but there is definitely something unsettling about a home where someone may have murdered someone and then walled them up like something out of Edgar Allen Poe.
tiptoppc 21
Disease and it brings unwanted pests like roaches, ants, etc… and that also invites alpha predators like rats, nasty spiders, and other insects that are in that food chain. Keep in mind a person with ebola can spread just by vacinity and exposure
maroongrad 13
More likely you need to get some mouse traps. She may have heard one in the walls.
lowshadows 21
no wonder why the house is cheap
wanted_2_want 40
Well. Your elderly dog might be getting senile and had trouble focusing on you.
wrhapsody 10
that's not how cadaver dogs are trained to alert to finding a body or a piece of one... they're trained to sit and bark or to place their paw near the area... not growl incessantly as if they were gonna kill someone. probably a ghost... or a mouse in the wall.
zuckerburg 21
I just bought a brand new 2nd hand barely used used vehicle/house/item.... them there are words of a moron
boopingsnoot 25
It’s their new house, that they just moved into. The house isn’t newly built, merely newly purchased.
Alaina Heuerman 21
You made me google “what are hackles” AND “what is a cadaver dog?”. Shame on you for making me learn new things.
boopingsnoot 25
There is the possibility of the dog getting a little senile and getting spooked by something in the wall. Could’ve been an animal, or maybe even a pipe making noise outside the range of human hearing (maybe a radon abatement system?)
SAgirl 24
This needs a follow up, did ever have it checked for a body?