Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML
Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML
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Top comments
jake131000 21
You should first drill a rat sized hole in the wall. Then plant the dead rats. Then you're good to go!
KingSquisher 13
Your bowels, my good friend, are the key to the future of biological warfare.
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Comments (11)
SaltLord 10
Maybe talk to your boss and sort things out? It may be funny but it's a misunderstanding. Sorry that happened, OP. Hope you feel better.
gimmeapotato 13
I'll call that a smelly situation
moniculkin 19
Where are the secret febreze commercials when you need them the most!
jake131000 21
You should first drill a rat sized hole in the wall. Then plant the dead rats. Then you're good to go!
alohaui 18
That's why I love to fart outside. 1.) I can find a place where I'm secluded. 2.) & the best part is, your farts just kind of dissipate into the open air around you, then you walk away and there's no shame. You should try it!
KingSquisher 13
Your bowels, my good friend, are the key to the future of biological warfare.
interesting33 37
After an hour the smell would have gone wouldn't it?
manuwish 9
you were so considerate, avoiding the bathroom so no one would be disturbed..farts are natural..you can stop feeling guilty about it.
RememberSchlitz 9
More grains, less cow. Good to go.
HippoSpinner 3
"It smells bad. It HAS to be dead rats." Why did you jump straight to a worst case scenario? And without seeing any dead rats? What, do you think they crawled into the walls and shit without leaving ANY trace? Can rats even do that? I've never seen a rat before. Someone let me know if they're ninjas. I know they can squeeze through spaces smaller than they are. So that's pretty cool.