Today, I realized that this is it. We are here for the blink of an eye, then dead. What if God doesn’t exist, then nothing has any meaning. I’ve been almost frozen in terror at this thought for three days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, if anyone wants to know how my day’s going, I have a preteen who recently discovered the idea of death, which led to life after death, which led to "What if there is no life after death?", just non-existence, no self awareness, just oblivion. Preteen plus existential dread. God help me. FML
Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML
Today, I hate fucking existing. I could literally die right now and know one would ever even check on me for months. I’ve literally gone 4 months with no work, locked in my house the whole time, and never received a text, phone call, or a knock at the door. Not a single person thought about me. FML
Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML
Today, I saw a dead ant. It made me think about how brief and fragile life is, why we're all here, and whether it has a point. It was a piece of lint. FML
Today, my depression has reached the point where I'm not sure if I'm even living anymore. Sure, I'm very much alive and able to type this, but I feel as though I'm just existing. Taking up space. Doing nothing. I can't be alone here, right? FML
Today, honestly, I feel like my life has lost meaning. At some certain point I have lost all emotion and am just covering myself with a mask of happiness. It feels like I’m just trying to escape my own reality, with my parents on the verge of divorce. Somewhere in the last few months it’s been getting worse. FML
Today, I'm realizing that it never gets better, we just get used to life being terrible. There's no point where it all gets better, just tolerable if we're lucky. FML
Today, I realized that I could have slept all day yesterday and it would've changed nothing. I don't talk to anyone and I don't do anything. My presence or lack of presence in this world means nothing and affects nobody. FML
Today, I realized the only things I do are work and sleep. My only friends are coworkers who I make small talk with. I live alone so I’ve got nothing there either. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, or spoke to someone. Everyday is just a blur. I have no hobbies, no goals. Getting older is so fun, right? FML
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Top comments
Sdog 6
If god doesn’t exist, then this life is all we have, and we need to make the most of it. Live life for yourself and for the good of mankind. No need to follow made up rules of a magic man in the sky.
RichardPencil 32
Whoa, buddy! There are plenty of atheists out there who feel that life is meaningful even without an invisible deity out there. Also, life is pretty ******' long! It's only a blink in geological time and who wants to be a rock? (Except The Rock, of course.)
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Comments (11)
AutisticPat 10
I’m sorry that you’re so afraid. I think I can understand some of what you’re going through. I was religious for years. You just need to make the best of the time that you have left. Easier said than done, I know. Spend as much time with your friends and family as possible!
Sdog 6
If god doesn’t exist, then this life is all we have, and we need to make the most of it. Live life for yourself and for the good of mankind. No need to follow made up rules of a magic man in the sky.
RichardPencil 32
Whoa, buddy! There are plenty of atheists out there who feel that life is meaningful even without an invisible deity out there. Also, life is pretty ******' long! It's only a blink in geological time and who wants to be a rock? (Except The Rock, of course.)
123Puppy 33
God does exist. If you read the Bible, go to church, and find a good small group, you will be able to get to know Him. If you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you will receive external life in Heaven. :) <3
protoskore 27
What if OP belongs to a non Christian religion?
Hempseed 27
What if I want internal life in Heaven instead of receiving external life?
Hailstorm92 12
Well what’s the worst that could happen by believing in god an Jesus? The rewards are better then not believing. Just bc you get saved or believe don’t mean you gotta be perfect. Nobody is perfect except for Jesus. Don’t mean your life will get easier or harder either but tends to bc Christians get persecuted just in believing in god an Jesus alone but small price to pay for what Jesus did for us
BMXDude22 12
Allah awaits you, my friend.
mimisky 7
OMG, that is totally me, it’s freaking me out! I think about it every day, most of the day! I keep telling myself, “that’s great, then this little bit of time that we have left, just ruin it, why don’t you?!” So, guess that’s what I’m doing!…Although, I kind of play it cool, because already those close to me know that it’s over the top. I know mine is because I have had so many deaths of people closest to me, in recent years and I almost died. But, This has got to stop and I’ve been watching lots of podcasts and things that are positive, instead of just reading stories about death, which totally bum me out. I have a big sense of humor, so I try to watch things that will totally make me laugh, but I still go back to the same thing after. Why do you think that this is happening to you
protoskore 27
May I suggest the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Have a drink of something alcohol based in her name, and let her wrap your soul in her soggy appendages
Savannah Glenn 2
Tell me you've watched Bo Burnham's Inside multiple times without telling me. Welcome to the club! :)
Chazzster 32
Welcome to being human. It depends on your outlook - We are here on earth for maybe 80 years more or less if you go by the statistics. That’s a blink of the eye relative to history and the universe or it’s a very long time by most human experiences. No religion can absolutely prove either the existence of God or an afterlife without circular reasoning or just saying “trust me”. All we really know we have is here and now. Whatever follows, if anything is simply unknowable. It is up to each of us to live the best life we can while we have a life to live. To live in fear nullifies this. The best life we can live means to treat others with respect and care because that’s how we would want to be treated. Only a sociopath would think they can treat others worse than they would want to be treated. Life is tougher than we might expect (our bodies and our minds are normally able to endure and overcome a lot). And life can also be fleeting - People can die without warning. I assume it’s the latter that has you spooked. Some people are comforted by religion and that helps them face the uncertainties in life. And then some people are hypocritical religious assholes. I cannot tell you what is best for you. But if you need the constant supervision of religious authorities to keep your life in balance then you are not much better than an infant. Even if you are religious, you have to learn to have some self sufficiency to know how to live day to day (Yes there is also prayer and study of your chosen religious references, but at best that “inner voice of God” in response to prayer is quite tenuous.) I myself am a mix of Christian background, faith and teachings and humanism. You will have to find your own truth. It’s seldom a single revelation, it’s usually a path that you follow through your life. You will find that in most cases that is a very long path.
IHaveThePower 18
crisistextline.org has people who can talk you through this. When an idea has you frozen for three days, you are in crisis and need to talk to them. They can help, and they won't put you in the hospital unless you want to go.