The Top

Unfortunately in my state they don’t even need a reason for termination. :/ It’s fine though, I was only there temporarily to help with Mother’s Day and I have other resources available to me! ^~^

Chill out, Gramps

By Chris T - 21/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend’s friends secretly make fun of me. They call me “grandpa” and a “massive creep.” They’re in their 20s. My girlfriend is 22 and I’m 48. Apparently, dating a consenting legal adult is considered “creepy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 2 155

Et tu, Brute?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2018 15:00

Today, I applied for a new job as a maintenance technician. About 10 minutes after submitting my resume, I received a rejection letter. My girlfriend is their HR person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 481

Live from Salt Lake City

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 20:02

Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 3 404

By julian - 29/09/2018 14:00

Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 664

You deserved it 294

By Magicfml - 06/02/2017 02:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 309

You deserved it 1 041

Mommy's boy

By HellFuckingNo! - 05/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, while wedding planning, my future MIL complained that the archway was too small for three people. Seeing my confused look, she explained, “Didn’t he tell you? I’m going to be at the altar with you two during the entire ceremony!” He even bought her a ring so she doesn’t feel “left out”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 184

That's a mother

By Anonymous - 23/02/2020 20:00

Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 575

You deserved it 326

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 782

You deserved it 1 769

By Anonymous - 13/05/2017 12:00

Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 598

You deserved it 401

Life imitates art

By Filingfordivorce - 18/05/2017 16:00

Today, it seems my husband didn't realize that "Office Space" is just a movie and began to act like the characters in a pathetic attempt to, "stand up to the establishment!" Perhaps he also didn't realize that attempted arson is considered a federal crime. The bail is $20,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 449

By twiggygonegirl - 06/06/2017 22:00

Today, I updated my list of "quit smoking rewards" to include new clothes. New clothes to fit my new voluptuous body, because the question of how I used to stay thin has been answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 874

You deserved it 657

By Noah - 02/11/2016 14:24

Today, a friend pointed out to me that I bear a striking resemblance to Anne Frank. I'm a 16-year-old guy, and I'm inclined to agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 509

You deserved it 833

OMG

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 23:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 508

You deserved it 5 391

By MrDisgrace - 17/09/2017 13:00

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 603

You deserved it 379

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 772

You deserved it 2 160

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 354

You deserved it 77 042

Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 057

You deserved it 212

This is why man won't take off the jacket!

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 289

Today, I had to explain to one of my friends that the cap he likes to wear makes people look at us funny in public. He thinks it's just the White Sox logo. It's styled like the baseball team's logo, but it actually says "Sex". I had to show him both side by side for him to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 117

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 125