Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over four years ago decided to turn up outside my house at 1 a.m., drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
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Top comments
mellowyellowww 0
drinking never solves anything.
cineturtle 0
uhm if you needed to DRINK in order to see him, then clearly it wasn't a very healthy relationship.
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Comments (20)
King_of_Kings 3
you in my opinion need to see a real doctor. Jack Daniels isn't a real doctor.
derpip 0
Well if he broke up with you, then maybe throwing up on him isn't a bad thing... Nevertheless, I agree with 2 and 3. GO GET HELP!
diet_cocaine 0
did he still take u back????
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Obviously he did. Nothing like throwing up on someone to repair the love that once was.
mellowyellowww 0
drinking never solves anything.
24788 7
Well did you guys get back together? I'm guess that was a no since you threw up and wrote an FML.
naroushh 0
THIS IS NOT AN FML ATLEAST HE LIKES YOU :|)
QueenOfMelodrama 0
This is why you don't use drinking as a crutch. Sorry, though...
cineturtle 0
uhm if you needed to DRINK in order to see him, then clearly it wasn't a very healthy relationship.
MetalCraze 11
well exs are exs for a reason so this is probably the best way it could have gone please move on
FYLFTW 0
Your Ex was trying to booty call you. When he said he really missed you he meant his junk missed being inside your junk. I would say booze helped you get out of a situation where you were likely to be taken advantage of.