Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband sniffing my sister’s panties from her laundry basket. He had the gall to defend himself and told me, “If you wore these sexy thongs and cheekies instead of them granny panties, I wouldn’t be doing this.” I wear “granny panties” because I recently gave birth to our daughter. FML
Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
This is really fun paradox. This is the first time I've seen someone say "if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all" and then proceed to say something mean.
Comrox 19
Does she like your husband?
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Comments (20)
Feklfekl2222 32
A pair of thongs as in flip flops? Or a thong as in underwear? I feel that could be quite a crucial distinction
Doberman101 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You ever hear of the saying, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."? It works just as well with stupidity than ignorance. It's pretty obvious what OP is referring to.
MrSassypants 34
This is really fun paradox. This is the first time I've seen someone say "if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all" and then proceed to say something mean.
may14th 26
That saying has literally nothing to do with the rest of your comment?
Doberman101 29
#6 Yes, I realized it was a paradox while typing it out. That was kind of the point. Maybe I'm the only one seeing the point I was trying to get across. I didn't abide by the rules of my original statement because #1 didn't abide by them (in a different perspective) either. Honestly wasn't trying to be overly mean. Was just trying to prove a point.
Feklfekl2222 32
Doberman, in hindsight it wasn't the smartest of comments, I'll put it down the the Christmas drinks. But I really don't think I was being mean, so I don't get why that particular expression is relevant.
Mauskau 36
#1 is asking because in Australia, thongs refer to flip flops. I read it like that, but then saw it was from the US and it made more sense. I'm not sure how asking which they meant was rude?
zeffra13 31
I think Doberman was trying to modify the saying so instead of not saying anything mean, you don't say anything she considers stupid or ignorant (since underwear makes more sense). But who knows, maybe OP's grandma thinks flip flops are sexy. Not saying I support her comment, I was just surprised people aren't understanding what she meant.
Doberman101 29
#21 Yea, I was modifying it. I thought at least that would have been noticed, but it's ok. Guess I could have said it differently. Down vote me wonderful humans, for I totally deserve it. Happy holidays!
Comrox 19
Does she like your husband?
MrGibbs25 20
I would say no......
DRaffie 18
Maybe she has bad memory or alzheimers and doesn't remember her getting married? Just another prospective on the situation no harm intended :)
Kevin_Kestel 24
second to comment
nash1991 20
At least she's giving you free tips
MrZsDad 19
Is your husband a hipster? Gram could be aware of more than you.
mld4657 28
As I read this all I can ask is why are you shopping? its christmas...
ShowMeKay 20
If you look at the time stamp, you'll notice this was posted a day before Christmas.
SPN_lover666 27
All posts have to say "Today." It could have happened last month, or a few years ago
cacheson 42
Maybe she knows something about your husband that you don't... :D
SecundusSecunda 27
Perhaps this was an early sign of Alzheimer's, OP? Or,maybe she was just being a troll!
LadyTyger51ne 8
I've been wearing thongs since I was 21. I'm 28 and I wear g-strings now and I'm still single. So whatever
LPac5295 27
Chances are she just forgot due to age or something. Or she could be a jokester. Regardless I'm sure explaining it to her again will jog her memory.