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Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 970

You deserved it 240

By 43vera10n3 - 19/09/2018 08:58 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found out that my best friend, the love of my life, is no longer engaged. He's now married. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 351

You deserved it 721

raven_of_azarath tells us more.

raven_of_azarath 34

Tuesday 18 September 2018 10:00

This actually happened a few months ago, and I was more upset that I wasn’t invited cuz my roommate I was good friends with had also just gotten married but didn’t invite me, despite me having been part of the proposal, and I found out that I wouldn’t be able to afford to travel to my brother’s future wedding that I have been invited to. I am moved on now, and while he will always hold a special place in my heart, I’m in a fully committed relationship now that I can see leading to marriage one day.

By unbelievable - 02/02/2009 11:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 920

You deserved it 6 711

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 336

You deserved it 5 930

By caesarinozeppeli - 11/05/2017 16:00

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 192

You deserved it 419

Break up

By natrat222 - 26/11/2019 20:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I decided to eat a whole tub of blueberries before seeing a guy I've been hooked up with for a year and a half. While giving a blow job, I ended throwing up the blueberries right before he came. He left immediately, deleted me on Snapchat and told me I need to get checked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 1 143

Awks

By GatorBoi - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to awkwardly sit next to my ex and her mother on a 2-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 077

You deserved it 2 397

By Sorry, son! - 02/07/2018 07:24

Today, I accidentally walked in on my son giving head to his husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 805

You deserved it 2 084

G_15948832 tells us more.

G_15948832 2

Tuesday 22 May 2018 20:13

Hi, I am the person who wrote this, and I wanted to cover something up. My son and his husband were visiting me and my wife to help out with cleaning the house, so they were staying over for a bit. I didn't think to knock on his door because I thought he was alone, since he earlier told me that his husband was out to get some supplies since we were running low. Obviously I didn't think he was back yet, so hence that situation occurred. My wife thought it was hilarious, though, and she got a great kick out of it. I panicked when I wrote this without much context, and it bothered me so yup I came back. Thats it everybody

By ThirteenThirteen - 01/04/2015 22:09 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 964

You deserved it 2 050

The customer is always an ass

By zanaruka - 19/05/2020 05:00

Today, an angry customer rubbed her hand all over my face, all while showing me her positive COVID-19 test results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 699

You deserved it 173

Great prank guys, love it

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:12 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 220

You deserved it 4 047

By purplepixie23 - 22/09/2018 14:00

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 282

You deserved it 244

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 20:22 - South Africa - Port Elizabeth

Today, my mum wants me to see a psychologist because I've been acting strange lately. If by "strange" she means "not wanting to die any more", then sure. But thanks, I could've used that psychologist 3 years ago when I asked for one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 159

You deserved it 1 399

By Anonymous - 30/11/2018 05:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I was going to have sex for the first time, but when my girlfriend and I got naked, I couldn't get it up. I eventually got hard but it involved me thinking about the time I accidentally saw my girlfriend's brother naked. I think I may be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 581

You deserved it 843

By LadyFahrenheit - 10/07/2013 00:14 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 721

You deserved it 3 564

LadyFahrenheit tells us more.

LadyFahrenheit 6

Thursday 11 July 2013 6:13

I just want to give more of an insight of the events surrounding the bailiff intrusion. A couple of weeks prior to finding them in my kitchen, I received a letter from an electricity company, which was intended for another customer. I contacted the electricity company to inform them I had received a letter for someone else, and they assured me that they would rectify their mistake. Fast forward a fortnight - I found bailiffs in my kitchen. They had picked the lock to gain entry, and had a search warrant, which they claimed gave them the right to enter my home. However, once I told showed them my I.D. and informed them their search warrant was invalid since I wasn't who they were looking for, they soon left. It baffles me how they could say it was so easy to open my front door, when they'd opened it with locksmith tools. I'm definitely going to have to improve my home security to avoid another incident like this.