Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss's constant micromanagement. FML
Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I accidentally sent my boss a meme about hating work. Her reply? "Same." FML
Today, I accidently sent that my butthole was on fire to a group chat with my boss. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML
Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML
Today, I mistakenly sent a voice message to my boss while imitating him in a comical way. The message contained my spot-on impression, complete with exaggerated jargon and phrases he frequently uses. I didn't realize it until I received a reply saying, "LOL, nailed it!" FML
Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
I'm wondering how detailed you actually were. I mean, I'm nothing special, but I tend to include the standard, "I'll turn you π radians clockwise perpendicular to my **** before oscillating with a frequency of 144 thrusts per minute, attenuating at a rate of negative 4.8 thrusts per second near climax. Baby."
TheHeirofTime 19
Always look at who you're texting.
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Comments (27)
TheHeirofTime 19
Always look at who you're texting.
trucker2 33
And before tapping the time clock
ThunderLightTSV 31
Hey you got a lesson out of it. Work, and then more work. By that I mean work hard, and then after that you can *work* hard.
SpyroMello 29
Maybe you should work just as hard at work as you do in the bedroom.
delichick 27
YDI for not double checking who you were texting
Tripartita 45
I'm wondering how detailed you actually were. I mean, I'm nothing special, but I tend to include the standard, "I'll turn you π radians clockwise perpendicular to my **** before oscillating with a frequency of 144 thrusts per minute, attenuating at a rate of negative 4.8 thrusts per second near climax. Baby."
crudeandrudeguy 29
I wish I was smart enough to tell if this could be done or not...
Miss_Whipped 43
Is it getting hot in here?
brenton490 19
So take off all your clothes.
Tripartita 45
It's not too far off from being accurate. • If one was erect and somebody was laying in front of them, you'd probably want them to rotate around an axis /parallel/ to the **** instead of perpendicular. • Pi radians is equal to 180°, so they'd just be laying on their stomach. • 144 thrusts per minute is a little more than a couple thrusts per second. • Thrusting 4.8 less times per second means you'll have decelerated to a stop around thirty seconds (4.8*30=144) near climaxing.
delichick 27
Dude the fact that you went into that much detail upgraded you to my favourite person :)
Tripartita 45
There was a FML a little while ago (it's currently the second result if you search "envelope") on which I posted a comment. You told me then I was your favourite person, so how could you "upgrade" me now? Did you even remember me?! I… I thought what we had was special…
delichick 27
Oops, when you get to be my age, you start getting memory loss. Ill correct myself and state you are still my favourite person
Jaelkus 28
It is ok. You can be my favorite person. I won't forget you.
preston55 7
I don't think thrusting over 2 times a second is possible but I'm no expert.
anonymuse_fml 31
Oh, baby. Talk geometry and frequency to me.
Stripez234 16
You're better than Doc Bastard o.o
Zebediabolical 45
...i came.
rivimatt 20
Holy ****, 2.4 thrusts per second would be mechanical
Teyros 24
Better start working harder OP! And double checking who you are texting..
chosha_fml 27
Great reply from your boss, and it sounds like YDI.
Joshawott 21
She got you there OP.
baubsmith 6
is your boss by chance, a Maddam?
chrisbeaudoin 26
"She replied saying"
firemuncher 19
tbh you got roasted right there