Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
the_enigma1019 1
She is practicing for later
Aspen_Grace33 27
What the hell?!?! That's really messed up!
Crazberry 5
Maybe she had a miscarriage or her baby died after she gave birth and she didn't tell you about it? (I mean before they met) If that's the case, her breast feeding her dolls is more heartbreaking than weird :(
liquid_sasquatch 10
Yea maybe that's it..... ...... Not!
Crazberry 5
46- Who says it's not? OP didn't specify, and it's not unusual for women who've gone through that to latch on (pun not intended) to something similar to a child to ease the heartache. There was a woman who started hoarding animals so she would have something to take care of.
Dracoboxer357 36
49- I think I may agree with you, either way, that's one sad thought, dead babies and all. :( I do hope you're wrong and the girlfriend has a silly reason or just wanted to visualize what it may be like one day, or something of that nature.
Crazberry 5
58- I know :( But while everyone was screaming, "freak!" I was wondering if it didn't go deeper than that. I'm too sensitive for my own good sometimes...
MerrikBarbarian 9
60- actually I admire your speaking up. This kind of behavior is very much a sign of their mental illness of deep trauma. I carried a small toy with me everywhere for about a year following my close friends murder when I was in my mid 20's as a way of coping with grief and trauma.
Crazberry 5
105- I'm sorry for your loss :( I hope the toy helped you in the long run.
MerrikBarbarian 9
It did indeed. The toy, silly as it was, pertained to some of my fondest memories of silly pranks we got up to. It was a tangible was to hold onto that memory while I went through the grief and rage that comes with unexpected, especially violent loss.
jessucka123 7
If she still has dolls, she's too young for you bro.
RedPillSucks 33
Lots of older ( older than teenager) people collect dolls. There's a whole industry that sells lifelike dolls costing lots of money. OP should have a discussion with his girlfriend to understand what the root of the issue is.
12mileCock 0
If the only thing she blows is bubbles then she's too young for you bro
pexy_fml 16
Why she still has dolls in the first place
Dracoboxer357 36
43- Well, when I was a toddler, I had a teddy bear, a "Wrinkles Dog" puppet from the early 80's that my parents had saved for the day I might have kids, and when I got married, I took him back for the nursery. He happens to be my son's favourite thing/object in the world so I'm happy I still had that one doll after all these years. :) Yay for rambling childhood stories! ;)
courtneyann211 10
I've still got dolls. Around 50-60 of them. Some dolls are collectors items (like 90% of mine) and I'm saving them for my daughter. Granted, they are all in boxes but still, It's not uncommon for women to save their dolls/toys for their children.
Magg0t 8
What the actual hell did i just read? Messed up, but i guess it could be worse.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Is she legal??
Llamacod 11
yep, she was born in her home country to naturalized parents so she is, indeed, legal... what? that's not what you meant?
MoonBear 0
How..
BrosephHarris 2
HAHAHA!
chokefrantic 9
Why does she have dolls? I'd be more concerned about that. -hides collection of stuffed toys-