Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
19riotgrrl83 0
Run.
alfredo1177 0
Guess you're one of her new dolls
Needafarm 22
Oh my gosh, that's nuts. Was it one of those dolls that are like real life babies? Did it breath and does she change its diaper too?
silentblack 0
"Ummm, can I get a titty too"
ifluffy33 0
That's .... Disturbing.
BaitnSwitch 0
kinky.
Raylosophy 10
WTF? She's old enough to have breasts but young enough to play with dolls....how old is this chic and y didn't u run as soon as u saw her doing that?
darkcosinus 16
Proof please :)
luna2495 0
OMG NO WAY FYL UR LIFE REALLY SUCKS
BunnyRose 11
Get out while you can!