Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
NiqueNique 0
I hope your not still with her.
DerekCorbett 18
Does your girlfriend happen to be 5?
Thatoneguy911 2
Oh hey, I'm a red flag. Nice to meet you
sarah56195 0
That is so weird.
firefighterjohn 9
like a boss
kalbrek009 20
Tell her you're hungry too? Um, something is awry here if she's over 18 & would rather pretend to breast feed dolls rather than enjoy you suckling on her boobs....word of warning though...don't bite!...on ther other hand, she maybe mentally unhinged & need a therapist....find out wth is going on in her head...then decide if you need to get her some help or if you can be one of her dolls too... :p
nicolemarie5000 4
Haha I couldn't help but laugh when I saw this! Wow that is really weird.
OfficeNinja 5
Turn this into a win for you. Dress up in cosplay. Then you can be the "doll". Then say you are hungry. You need a 5 course meal. Salad, appetizer, another appetizer, main course, then desert.
MyWorldAway 0
she really needs help.
RamosUSMC0311 0
Does Ken know about the affair?