Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
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Top comments
MykalaMonae 7
Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?
Adrena_fml 5
.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.
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Comments (199)
br0ccoli 15
Aaaand this is the point where you change your name and number and move to another state. That's a warning sign of a severe mental illness.
MerrikBarbarian 9
18- might be difficult... Seeing as to make it to ANY state they'd have to leave the country. ;)
br0ccoli 15
O, well in that case, it's best to leave the province, eh?
mdsummrsnght 17
Get out NOW!
thiscrazything 1
Tell her you're her baby now.
Andrew910 5
Everyone's gotta start practicing at some point right?
HappyHighPants 4
Practise does make perfect!
isamisis 9
Record her doing it and enter 'world's stupidest videos'. Maybe win some money.
krysxkatastrophe 14
25- No, it wouldn't. Many people have dolls to practice breast feeding, so it would just look like a "so what?" moment to the people running the show.
zuzupetalsYO 11
It's not practice, it's psychosis.
zandalee 20
Unusual fetish granted... But not the weirdest.... At least she doesn't have sex with said dolls! Blow up dolls for men (& women) have been around since Adam was a lad...
Llamacod 11
you must mean Adam smith, the guy from down the street who is now in the old folks home, right. because if you meant Adam as in "the first person" who's rib became a woman than who made these blow up dolls and what were they made of?
iilovecokee 6
I think you should take it upon yourself to glue some very sharp protruding teeth on her dolls' mouth.
krysxkatastrophe 14
31- Thanks for giving me a flashback to the movie "Teeth".
Llamacod 11
if that have you a flashback to the movie "teeth" then you obviously didn't understand the movie
Darkmagic666 9
Fetishes are weird...
SAgirl 23
Get out while you can.
tarickman 13
how does that little tidbit of information get worked into a normal conversation?