Scott
United States
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
blargh
Moscow, Russian Federation
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Wet
Not cool
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Anonymous
Malaysia
Mommy milkers
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
superclutz
United States
Oh, hello…
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
crapedup
United States
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
milkysubstance
Brisbane, Australia
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Anonymous
Ballwin, United States
Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Anonymous
Blue Earth, United States
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
reasonablysingle
Greystanes, Australia
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
unknown951
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
It's a sign!
Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
Top comments
aaronmk 7
If I had breasts.. I probably would have tried that ..
emmas03 0
shes warming them up for the little fella'
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Comments (291)
emmas03 0
shes warming them up for the little fella'
EvilPotato 15
You should join in, see what it tastes like.
cudi504 4
She should have offered to share
StoryOfTheYear 15
12- Speaking of tastes.... Those French Fries are practically orgasmic.
The_Instigator 11
You know what else is orgasmic... Breast milk.
indielove 13
"Got milk?"
EmyB_fml 8
Congrats to you !
lolololer 8
maybe she wants healthier bones
LiveLaughFML 10
don't be selfish, you already know what it tastes like. ;D
zombicidal 11
wife has odd cravings
fthislyfe 22
The milk coming from the breasts in the first few days after the baby is born tastes awful. It doesn't have fat and it consists mostly of proteins and immunoglobulins to protect the child from various diseases. So wait a few days and then you can both taste it :)
dre_bro11 12
65, wife is still preggo. 'I caught my pregnant wife...'. So forget the proteins, it just taste horrible.
Alex94xela 0
If her boobs can reach her mouth That's amazing like pornstar stuff Go help her out OP she can get the left And you can get the right
fanceh 10
always better straight from the tap.
ThePokemonMaster 5
Is she a Miltank?
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Tell her she won't start lactating until the baby is actually born.
dubstepp 15
Have to get all sexual with breasts milk? Ew hah
drew1978 4
I only drink da finest Cambodian breast milk. Wait... Is she Cambodian?
dubstepp 15
I think that's just plain gross, tasting breast milk. It's for a baby not so adults can experiment and taste it. Yuck.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
92 & 165- During pregnancy a woman's body starts to produce milk so it is possible for her to get the colostrum during pregnancy. Some women's breasts even leak while pregnant. Nipple stimulation is a natural method of inducing labor and since you are supposed to stimulate it in a way that is like a baby sucking on the nipple, it would make since for her to suck it herself although if it was me I would ask my partner to do so. 167/170- Breasts are not just sexual, women have them for the purpose of feeding a baby. If you think drinking breast milk is gross then simply don't drink it.
JessalynVictoria 6
Please do not try to say that milky fluid does not come out during the last trimester. If that is what your trying to say you are so stupid.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
197- I am not sure whom you are addressing but if you were speaking to me then no, I was saying the exact opposite. No need to name call though. Some people just don't know what goes on with a woman's body during pregnancy. Maybe they are a male or a female that has never been pregnant.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
should of asked her if she wanted some oreo's to go along with that milk. ^_^
JohnBoyFsYL 10
Was it milk from under her armpit?
cinderella10383 6
My hubby loved my breast milk during pregnancy with my son, he thought it was hot that I was pregnant he loved my belly.. For those saying it isn't sexy have you been pregnant with a partner around? Yes breasts leak during the last trimester mine sure did mine started at about 5 1/2 months
jrwill 0
That is soo gross. What is wrong with you. I have a kid and I breast fed him but neither my husband nor I ever thought about tasting ourselves. Eww!
Prodigy7 4
201 - 197 obviously wasn't addressing you, but likely 165. Don't be dumb.
ukrage 1
I like how no one got the reference
JessalynVictoria 6
I actually wasn't trying to call you stupid. My comment somehow got mixed up. I was talking to sweetheartxoxo88. oops...
cookiemonster144 0
I'm almost positive everyone who isn't flat as a wall can do that(:
coolkid_matt 11
Creep :S
xleanne_aLly 23
OP, you mean.. the one under her armpit?
Marcella1016 32
2 - No, it's called recycling.
Hot_Chick21 0
I totally agree with 2 Who the **** gave him thumbs down??
Hannahrayne 0
Hilarious.
bettyc4 26
Join her then look up while sucking and say " mmmm Mama"
indielove 13
Yeah that's not creepy at all. . .
smashmaster52 0
WTF r u brain damaged
LeiT 0
Hhahahaha sick :D
shift_love 13
Who the ****** gave this a thumbs down? It was an epic comment.
Feklfekl2222 32
Gregs place is in England not America. You boosh traitor
JessalynVictoria 6
That's disgusting. Are you you from a southern state?
soccer4life20 9
I'M OLD GREG!!! :D
Llamassss 21
Also, it's Old Gregg.
Banana_Pancakes6 0
Why is this thumbed down? I took this as a "Liar Liar" reference..?
elijahwilson 0
Good guy Greg See you thumbed down Thumbs you up
huejjin 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
jux makn sure it's the ryt temperature for the lil one.jux makn sure it's the ryt temperature for the lil one.
Wreckless_fml 6
The shit you smokin'? o.o
pixelebrate 0
Mummy's weed -_-
afdude87 6
I'm no grammar nazi but seriously, come on..
pixelebrate 0
I'm sorry... I meant your drinking mummy's milk.
aaronmk 7
If I had breasts.. I probably would have tried that ..
XxHoPPoxX 8
Well paint me purple and call me barney
TheFlyingMan 8
I wish I could do that :(
CryMoreFMLs 15
I have small moobs... But it's not the same.o
electrorange 13
Auto Fellatio!!!
centarous85 0
Ill help u! XD
centarous85 0
Ill help ya! ;)
centarous85 0
#79
CryMoreFMLs 15
Get a life 221.
Ferretface 13
Also 217 and 219.
all4pooh 4
Same here. This is something I'd probly try lol
Brooding99 15
Now that is what we call a "keeper".
BigHoshJosh 0
Well pregnant women do get some weird cravings
CryMoreFMLs 15
I don't see the FML here. She's just pleasuring herself.
Jaxx66 21
Yes they do. But he 'caught' her. Like she's not allowed to have her own milk! I was curious too. It was weird and sweet.
DarkHelmet 10
Right!! I'll have some of what she's having
i75thairborne 0
"Honey, I'd like you to meet our new neighbooorrrrrssss...... what are you doing?"
Senior29 8
testing them 4 poison?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
The guy from Pakistan would say that...
centarous85 0
Hahajahaha
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Nope, just testing if the third breast from her armpit still works. (past FML reference if nobody noticed)
PeachyJinx 7
Its hers lol she can do what she wants with them XD
Jaxx66 21
Lol serious. Plus why the hell are you whining OP? There's a lot of men that enjoy breast milk and see it as a turn on. And if a woman can suck on her own breast they'd be all over that! 'ohhhh may I watch?' sort of deal. :)
The_Instigator 11
I've always wondered what that tastes like...
CharleneW 0
It depends on your diet, but it's usually sweet. I've tried my own, not right from the boob though....
zombicidal 11
everything's better on tap
HumboldtLeaky 0
Cantaloupe.
HomeAl0ne 20
Chicken.
AwesomeNinjaGame 0
I wonder the same thing...
_streets_ 19
YUMMY!! Now all you need are some Oreos!